Great news! I don’t need another back surgery. Downside is that the disc below the disc that was operated on is bulging and we need to do something about it before it actually ruptures like the one above it had done. Therefore I need to go in and get a shot of anti-inflammatory directly into the disc.
“You do realize I gave birth naturally to both of my sons because I hate the thought of needles, especially being awake and having a needle in my spine?” I told the doctor in a half crazed, high pitched voice.
His smile seemed to say, “Oh you silly little thing.” Out loud he said, “We can do this with a local anesthetic in my office or you can be put under sedation but we’ll have to do that at another facility.”
I blinked. Did he not hear me? “Um, I’ll be going under, thank you.” So I get this wonderful dose of meds on the 22nd. The only other ‘bad’ news I received was that I will no longer be running 1/2 marathons. Darn. Apparently, the disc that had ruptured 6 years ago is at 50% and eventually it will continue to wear down and cause problems in the future. By running and forcing the wear I would be putting myself at risk to suffer those consequences years earlier than needed. Got it. No problem. Back to spin class it is.
What is ironic about this is that as I was training for the 1/2 marathon last year and was on a long 10 mile training run I’d pray to find an excuse to no longer be able to put myself through that kind of torture. Why not stop? you might ask. Because I was determined to meet the goal I’d set before me. Curse of the Type A’s.
Now that I’m being told I can’t run I want to run. I tried to walk the other day but my legs were itching to go faster and yet I couldn’t walk fast enough so I ended up running the last leg of my jaunt. I know…I know…
I do believe this little mind game is one of the clever tricks of the enemy – wanting the opposite of what we’re told we can have or do.
It’s just like achieving a life-long goal and then feeling as if it wasn’t enough so you set your sights higher and higher and higher never fully reaching satisfaction. In many ways we have to train our minds to override this little trick by fully submitting to the will of God.
By submitting to His will then we put our ever goal, dream, aspiration, and day to day moments into the trust of what He has planned for us. Apparently I’m not supposed to run. Okay, so be it. When I get the ‘itch’ I’ll do my best to train my mind on what God would want me to do instead.
What do you need help ‘training’ your mind to overcome? Seek the Lord with your desire and He will answer with abundant love.