be good to yourself, healing 101, healing from abuse, healing from betrayal, healing from tragedy, how to do self care, how to overcome abuse, how to overcome betrayal, how to overcome tragedy, self care, the steps to self care, what is self care
The retreat was difficult. Enlightening. Healing. Informative.
Communication is a skill that you would think comes so easily and yet there is a dynamic in dealing with others that to communicate effectively takes great skill. We get so used to reacting or responding in one way so to re-form the reactions and responses to better communicate on a level that is both tender to self and to others means a great deal of practice needs to go into the process before it becomes natural.
I am dealing with this today. Trying to not react or respond in the my usual way. It isn’t easy.
There is so much from what I learned on the retreat that I will share as the weeks unfold but the main ‘meat’ of the retreat I will respectively keep close for the respect of myself and the others in attendance.
One nugget I am grasping this morning is learning how to ‘self-care’. This isn’t necessarily going out and getting a pedicure or massage (thought those are great self-care activities). What I’m working on this morning is listening to what my heart is feeling and though some around me might not understand or receive my heart in its current state of healing I am the only one responsible for loving and nurturing ‘me’ the way I need.
I can’t change you but I can change me.
On the retreat we were given four questions to ask ourselves when we felt our buttons pushed:
1) What am I feeling?
2) What do I normally do?
3) What is the truth?
4) What can I do differently?
Obviously the toughest step is retreating when the button is pushed and having the maturity to ask the questions and the humility to do different.
It is all a process. Healing 101
Do the best you can and if someone else tells you they don’t ‘think’ you are doing enough or what they think you should be doing then remember – retreat. Take care of you. They can ‘think’ what they want but that is their response and reaction not yours. They probably need to do a bit of their own self-love. If your truth is that you are doing the best you can then that is your truth.
It takes TIME. Time takes patience. Patience takes humility. Humility takes maturity. Maturity takes personal growth. And GOD is needed in all the above!