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Just Show Up

~ An Abuse Survivor's Daily Rendering of God Showing Up In Her Life, How She Might Show Up or How She Misses the Mark

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Tag Archives: survivor’s story

Living Miracle (DMV Survivor Speaks of Near Fatal Attack)

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

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abuse survivor, be still and know I am God, domestic violence, domestic violence awarenes, domestic violence help, domestic violence hotline, Faith, faith stories, Houston Area Women's Center, Laura White, living miracle, miracle stories, miracles, survivor's story, true miracle story

**One from the vault**

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.  Today you will not be disappointed.  Whatever you are doing right now make sure you disengage from the world around you and take a moment to receive the gift of reading the true story of this living miracle.  My life has been blessed because God has brought Laura White and I together.  Her mere presence, the fact that she is living and breathing, let alone walking and eating Chinese food with me, reinforces my belief in God, in His word and in His promises.

Our story began in April when a friend of hers was one of the few that happened upon the rained out Hopeful Hearts Ministry fund-raiser concert.  When her friend heard my story she bought a Hopeful Hearts Charm for Laura and told me she had survived her ex-husband shooting her in the stomach with a shotgun.  Instantly I was intrigued and hoped that this friend would give Laura the message to contact me.  A few weeks later I heard from Laura and we decided we needed to meet but family and other commitments got in the way until today.  But today was perfect because today was the day I needed God to show up in Laura’s message.

Me and Laura White

What got to me (that she doesn’t include in this retelling of her story) is that when he shot her and she was lying on the ground realizing what happened she heard in her ear “Be still and know I am God.”  She said once she heard those words she knew she wasn’t going to die.  Despite the fact her husband left her to lie there bleeding to death, contemplating finishing her off, she remained still and calm which is what saved her life.  Had she panicked the bleeding would have been more rapid and she would have bled to death.  Amazing.

I pray He show’s up for you too:

WATCH & LISTEN to her story:

or Read it:

The Story of a Miracle Survivor- Laura White I met my future husband at church. He was a nice Christian man, and we soon got married. It was my second marriage, and before long I learned there were two completely different sides to him. On one side, he was a very loving man. But behind closed doors, there was a cruel side to him. He was abusive, both verbally and emotionally. He constantly accused me of infidelity, and if I even mentioned another man’s name, he assumed I was cheating on him (which I never did). He wouldn’t let me have a relationship with my children; I wasn’t even allowed to talk to them on the phone. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster, sometimes it was good, and then all the craziness would begin again. It was too much for me to bear. In September 2009 I moved out and filed for divorce. All that was left was for him to sign the divorce papers. In November 2009, he called inviting me to play golf saying he would sign the papers. He said, “Bring your golf clubs, you’ll be really happy to see me.” When we met, it was really strange how giddy he was that entire day. After we finished playing golf, we went to his house to sign the papers. When we got there, he talked me into having sex with him. I did what he wanted to avoid a verbal tirade.

Afterwards, as I was getting dressed, he suddenly locked the bedroom door, pulled out a shotgun, and chambered it. My heart froze as he told me to sit down. He said he was going to kill me and then himself. He said, “If I can’t have you, then no one can.” I tried to talk him out of it, but he got even angrier. I could tell he was serious and I started thinking about my children and grandson. It was then and there that I decided to jump up and around him. As I leaped to my feet he shot me in the abdomen with a double barrel shotgun loaded with buckshot. I fell to the floor, and as I lay there, he pointed the gun at me, telling me it was my fault and that I was going to die.

I finally said, “If you’re not going to call 911, you might as well shoot me.”

When I said those words his face softened, and his eyes were no longer cold and empty. He cried out, “Oh my God, what have I done?”

He immediately called 911, and told them what he did. They arrived shortly after and life-flighted me to the hospital. I had no pulse, no blood left and the doctors told my kids I had a less than 1% chance of living. I was in a coma for three weeks. They didn’t expect me to make it, and said even if I lived I would have no quality of life.

After three months in the hospital and 13 surgeries, I was walking and back at work seven months later. I lost 80% of my digestive system, my stomach muscles, and even lost my bellybutton, yet I was a walking miracle. The doctors told me that according to medical books I should have been dead. I began to physically recover, but not mentally and I knew I needed help. One night I called the National Domestic Violence Hotline and they referred me to the Houston Area Women’s Center.

The next day I went there, did intake, met with a counselor and began to go to group counseling sessions. It was truly an amazing experience; it helped me realize I wasn’t alone and that there were other women going through the same things. My recovery took a big turnaround. I needed that group support. In December 2010, I went to trial, testified against my husband and he was sentenced to life in prison. Once I left that courtroom I felt like a new woman. I continued going to the Houston Area Women’s Center, but I had made the transition from victim to survivor.

To this day, I still have 14 buckshot pellets lodged in my body, and they remind me that I survived for a reason. I survived to be a mother, grandmother, sister, friend, and to be of help to someone. I know that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. I graduated from college in May, and I’m currently writing a book about my experience.

It has been an amazing journey, and if I had to take a bullet again, I would take it to gain the peace I have now, freely be with my children and family, and most of all to not be controlled by another again.

She wrote this post for the Houston Women’s Area Center.  When she said to me, “I heard ‘Be still and know I am God.” I got the chills because it strengthens my personal resolve to ‘be still’, trust in His plan, He will come through.

We hear these unbelievable stories and we think “My situation isn’t as bad so I shouldn’t feel like I have an issue.”  Please listen, your story is your story, if it affects you then it matters.  If you are in a similar situation, if any of Laura’s story is relatable, please reach out to someone and talk to them about it.  Go to a trusted family member, friend, pastor or priest, or do as Laura did and call the National Domestic Hotline.  They will help you find counseling and even a shelter (if needed) within your area.

Other online resources are Ask Seek and Knock and the Maria Goretti Network.

Houston Area:
Domestic Violence Hotline
713-528-2121
Rape Crisis Hotline
713-528-7273

I pray this post blesses you in some way today.

Blessings

Shannon

An Answered Prayer After Five Years (Day 214)

10 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

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answered prayer, Ezekiel 22:10, healing after rape, personal stories, prayer, rape survivor, real people, survivor's story

Days like today make me feel secure in my faith and filled with the warmth of God’s love.

A friend of mine got me in contact with a young 17-year-old woman who was a rape survivor. This young woman confided in my friend that she was struggling with what had happened. When I was called and asked to speak to this young woman this was all I knew. I did not know the specifics behind the rape or how long ago it had happened.

When I meet with survivors (or speak with them on the phone) I like to have enough time set aside to hear their story. I believe the number one step in healing is to be able to talk about what had been done and to feel secure and safe talking to someone who can relate to those feelings. When I was given this young woman’s information we were not able to connect due to her work schedule so for now we’d been texting trying to find a time to meet.

Anxious to speak with her I asked if there was a way to meet with her briefly, long enough to get a book and charm to her, something to give her encouragement and strength. We finally had the chance to meet briefly this morning before she went into work.

I met at her work place and in the few minutes we had I asked a question that led her to divulge a few facts that tweaked my memory. The more she spoke I realized why everything was so familiar. I knew her story. It was five years before when it happened…yes she was 12 almost 13 years old. When it happened a friend of mine had heard about the situation. She didn’t know the young girl so what was being told to me was third party information. At the time I was still in youth ministry, not yet called to do what I do now with Hopeful Hearts Ministry but I still felt a strong desire to talk to the young girl.

This young woman’s story plagued me at the time. The little facts I knew then were enough for me to picture the events in my mind and feel the fear she must’ve felt in that moment. I want to share her story but I’d rather meet with her for a longer period of time before I do so. It is of public record, which is one of the facts about her case that made me so livid at the time. She went to the police. Not all of the parties involved were arrested or even brought in but one was and only received 5 years, and I’m not sure he even had to serve the entire sentence.

I remember hearing about this. About the injustice of the lack of sentencing. And about how this young girl had to continue to endure being near other parties of the case.

Ezeckiel 22

I prayed for her. I prayed I’d have the chance to meet with her one day. It took almost five years but God finally made it happen. There I sat before this beautiful girl, a young woman now, who radiates strength and courage.

This makes me excited. You know why? Because what had been done to her did not get the best of her. She is reaching out and she is fighting back. It isn’t an easy road for her but the key point is she survived.

I can’t wait to work with her and see the plans God has for her graciously unfold. And I can’t ignore the fact that He HEARD me!

God is so good!

Prayer is our lifeline. When you feel as if He isn’t listening pray some more and remember stories such as this. And pray for others! We are a community of believers and we need to stand in the gap for one another!

Blessings
Shannon

Day of Reckoning – Part Two (Day 111 Revisited)

04 Sunday Aug 2013

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

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Tags

abuse survivor, Abuse survivors, forgiveness, healing from abuse, incest survivor, overcoming abuse, survivor's story

I’ll admit, yes I was blogging while in the back row during the service. I found it hard to listen but I didn’t feel the need to leave. I heard that my grandfather was a faithful Godly man. That all of his life he would wake and do a morning devotional and read the bible. I heard that he was devout in his faith and wanted only to do the ‘right’ thing and to do ‘good’ by everyone. I heard that he was loved and that God had His hand on him saving him on many occasions from death.

I heard them joke about him and his coffee. The same smell that ‘triggers’ me. The very reason why I’ve never had a cup of coffee. I always wondered why I detested the smell. Why the smell would take me back to picturing the brown clay coffee mugs with the light brown edges. Why it would make my insides recoil. Before my wall broke down I tried to reason it was because the Folger’s plant was in Sherman where I grew up. Not so.

My uncles got up one by one and spoke about their father. My heart broke for them. I’m sure he was a good man to them and he taught them many things. As I said before I’m sure it is hard for them to reconcile the man I know with the man that brought them up. There were many times I wanted to say things but I text them to Heather instead. It did not escape me that one of my uncles brought up the fact that grandfather had made ‘mistakes’ and that we are all sinners. Quoting the verse to not ‘throw the first stone’ for we are all sinners. No, it didn’t escape my ears…but I wanted to then stand up and say “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe [in me] to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were put around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.” Mark 9:42

Yes, I heard and yes, I know. I know that it continues to say in the bible “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always look upon the face of my Heavenly Father.” Matthew 18:12

When the service was complete they marched his ashes outside for the military honors. He was in the Air Force by the way, I was mistaken. I held back, holding Riley who was giving me the biggest hugs and kisses. I waited till everyone left and walked up to the front where they had pictures of my grandfather, grandmother, my mom and all of my uncles. I stood before the picture of my grandfather and said out loud what I needed to say. ”You hurt me which scarred me deeply,” was one. Much more that needs to be left between him and I. There was no shortage of tears. Tears for me. Tears for the little girl that never understood why she wrote the poem that she remembers this verse to this day:

“I’m living in a world unknown, I’m scared to think it could be shown. In this world I hear voices telling me to make choices. Choices that should never be thought of….I’m tired of living in this world unknown.” I still have this written in my little Hello Kitty Diary , I was 10 years old but I remember those verses well. I didn’t understand them till now.

I looked at his picture and I nailed the coffin. Riley and I walked outside for the final words. When I went to my grandfather’s house after the service I was relieved to find out it wasn’t the house I remember. They moved from that house when I was in high school. I had never been in this one. And there was no smell of coffee. I was free to sit and catch up with my uncles.

girlfree

After a late lunch they asked if I wanted to go through his stuff with them at the house. I politely declined. I am tired. It’s not a lie. Heather and I will meet them for dinner tonight. There might be a Part Three.

For now I feel ‘free’. Song – FREE by SHAWN MCDONALD

Chorus: “You said your burden is light and your load is no more. You said your ways are right and in you I will soar. I want to be free, free to dance and free to sing. Free to live and love and free to be me.”

Blessings

Shannon

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