Get Shannon’s Story EXPOSED for FREE on Kindle Today!

Tags

book promotion, books to read, Child Abuse Prevention, EXPOSED BOOK, free books, Kindle books, Sexual Assault Awareness

Today ends the promotion for a FREE Kindle copy of EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him.

Exposed: Inexcusable Me . . . Irreplaceable Him is one woman’s courageous journey down the path of spiritual self-discovery. Not only does this book expose the awful truths of physical and emotional abuse, but it also exposes the truth that, no matter how deeply our wounds may run, we will always be worthy of God’s healing grace.

This book offers faith-based encouragement for teenagers and adults who have suffered physical or emotional abuse. Through the extremely personal, no-holds-barred account of one woman’s journey down a self-destructive path, it addresses such issues as spiritual warfare, the need to be loved, and the need to relinquish control of one’s self to God.

Get your FREE copy today on Kindle!!!

Blessings

Shannon

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Cleaning Out Your Fridge – Advice for Survivors (Healing from the Inside Out)

Tags

Child Abuse Prevention, cleaning out the fridge, healing, healing from abuse, life after abuse, life after rape, overcoming abuse, Sexual Assault Awareness, survivors of abuse, working on our past

“I thought I dealt with the abuse. I went 10, 20, 30 years without issue so why is it coming up now?” This is a common statement from survivors, especially those of us in the ‘older generations’ who were not as comfortable as the new generation in ‘therapy’ and blogging and posting our feelings and inner struggles for the world to empathize or judge. In the past few weeks I’ve received more than one email from places as far as the UK and Africa from survivors who have either stated how they thought they had ‘gotten past the abuse’ but now the memories, flashbacks, triggers etc are stronger than ever. One survivor realized in order for her to thrive she knew she needed to deal with what kept coming up instead of trying to push it back down -BRAVO – so she confronted her perpetrator. Wow. Talk about deep cleaning!

Often the way one has ‘survived’ abuse is by knowing how to ‘stuff’ the effects away in order to move forward. We learn coping mechanisms that are both healthy and unhealthy. The danger is when we get past the period of abuse and fail to stop to take the time and energy needed to work through the effects of what lingers from the abuse. Too often a survivor will get past the period of abuse and desperate to ‘be normal’ it gets stuffed deep inside to fester and spoil.

It’s like forgetting there are leftovers in the fridge that either need to be eaten or thrown away but with each day new stuff gets put into the fridge and pushes the container of leftovers to the back till one day you open the fridge door and a smells cinges the hairs in your nose. “What is that?” you think and do a quick glance through but can’t see the culprit right in front of you so you shut the door and forget about it.

That night your husband comes home and opens the fridge to grab a drink, “What the heck is that smell?” He squinches up his nose in disgust and closes the door because he figures its your job to find the culprit. But you forget about it because you leave to go out of town and when you get back the smell is now emitting from the fridge and saturated the air in the house. It can’t be ignored anymore you have to stop what you are doing and take the time to clean out the fridge.

You dawn a pair of latex gloves and because the smell is so bad a mask. When you open the fridge the smell crashes into you like a wave and brings tears to your eyes. You wish you could reach in and grab whatever it is that is causing the smell and throw it away but there is so much food that is salvageable right in front of you it’s not easy to find. You have to take out everything on the shelves one by one and inspect the dates and, if it’s a closed container, what is in side.

As you start taking your ‘stuff’ out of the fridge you see how dirty the shelves are and realize the fridge hasn’t been cleaned since you purchased it years before. The dread of having to take everything out in order to not only find the smell but to clean the fridge causes you to want to throw in the towel before you even begun but you are standing there with the gloves and mask on and the afternoon had been miraculously freed up so there was no excuse.

Before you know it you have lined up ice chests behind you to save the salvageable good items (all of the positive gifts and talents that have been hidden by the clutter and stench of the trash) as you clean and soon you realize there were a lot of items in the fridge that were expired and most likely adding to the main culprit. Now you reach deep into the back of the last shelf and there it is, a closed container that has mildew creeping out of the edges of the lid. You hold onto the culprit and feel victorious for having found it but also curious as to what it was that had been left behind. You open the lid to find and unrecognizable casserole that has mounds of mold in all shades of greens and blues.

The smell is atrocious but it is fascinating to see what has become of this concoction. Finally you bid it farewell and put it in its own sealable bag, bag it again, and then throw it away. Feeling accomplished you turn back to the task at hand. Even though you found the culprit now you have a half-empty refrigerator that still needs to be cleaned out with other expired items. It takes time but the deeper you get into cleaning the better you feel and you can’t possibly put back the good items into a frig with dirty shelves.

It takes the entire afternoon but finally your task is complete. “Next time I won’t wait years to clean this fridge.” you say to yourself because you realize the job is so much easier when you keep track of what’s going in and what’s coming out.

Survivors are often reluctant to take the first step of digging into their past because the task seems daunting and at times they are afraid of what they’ll find. Sometimes some choose to deny and ignore and don’t realize the stench (effects) of abuse are following them around, seeped into their actions and reactions. Already affecting their marriages, friendships, etc.

However, when they finally recognize the stench (effects) are affecting everyone around them and they are the only one who is capable of finding the culprit then the grace is given to take the first step. Once we take the time to look into what has been done or said to us, how we have handled it, how it has affected other moments in our lives, it is easier to open the lid despite the smell.

I encourage you, if you have suffered any type of abuse or assault in your past and you have chosen to ‘put it aside’ consider giving yourself the gift to take the time and clean out the fridge. It is a tough first step but the reward is great!

Blessings

Shannon

Where is God? (Healing in Poetry)

Tags

Abuse survivors, Child Abuse Prevention, healing after abuse, healing poetry, how to heal after tragedy, how to heal from abuse, overcoming abuse, overcoming tragedy, poetry, poetry for abuse survivors, Sexual Assault Awareness, Where is God in suffering, Where is God in Tragedy?, where is God?

One great gift I have in leading this ministry of healing is I receive the most heartfelt pieces of prose, poetry, personal stories, etc.

This weekend I ran into a woman I’d met quite a while back and she has been following the blog. She asked how I was doing, clearly understanding that this year is a one of endurance, growth and God’s extended grace. I gave her a genuine smile in response, “I’m two steps ahead most days and one step back at times but for the most part I am much much better.”

Her eyes reflected the feeling.  The following day I received an email from her that contained a numerous amount of inspired poetry. One poem boasted quite a title, “Where is God“.

Today I spoke to a thriver of abuse (not just survivor but a woman I will be using as a resource within the ministry who has overcome and now heals with Theophostic prayer) and she admitted to questioning where God was when we feel he’s abandoned us in the midst of evil. I remember crying out to God, “Don’t you care?!”

Makes you wonder why Christ on the cross cried out “My God, my God why have You abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46) just before our redemption was sealed with his final breath.

God has clearly not abandoned us in the least. In fact he is so near he is within us, surrounding us, holding our eyes open, helping our heart to beat, our diaphragm to expand. He is sustaining us through the evil of another’s will and choice until we choose to recognize his presence and guidance in our lives. And then we learn to fight as righteous rather than victims.

What is your choice? It is our choice that lead us to inflict evil, walk away from evil, deflect evil and even love despite evil.

Where is God? He is in every thread of your being but you have to make a choice to see your true heritage.

Where is God

When you feel as if you cannot take another step

When crying is all you feel you have left

You ask where God is

He is in the tear drop that falls

Bathing and healing your soul.

 

When you have walked away from all of your beliefs

And feel that prayer is something you cannot say

He walks quietly beside you, though you may not see him

Youwill feel his grace in the strangest of ways

In the quiet of the night or walking across a floor

Past a stranger on the street who knows

The healing power of touch,a kind word, a smile

When you seem lost, afraid to step out and feel

Is when He holds yourhand and quietly leads you

 

The moments when you feel that you are alone

When there is no one near to hold you

And you fear that your prayers will not be heard

That is when your soulis held

The closest to His heart

Through the darkness you do not see and so often

It is then that you fail to look for the light within

A light given at birth, lasting till the end

When you feel that you cannot breathe, let alone take a step

And you feel thefrailness of your being

When you are afraid to see or chose not to believe

You ask where God was when my world crumbled within

 

It is then that the wonder of His grace may be felt

If you just take that breath, and make that step

For His grace is all around you, though you cannot see

When it seems as if there are no tomorrows that you can bear

That is when God is truly there

~ “C”

Blessings

Shannon

Purchase your copy of EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him on KINDLE for only $1.99!

Healing Rage – Yuoranda’s Story

Tags

Faith, healing, healing after abuse, healing after rape, Healing Rage, Healing the Rage Within, inspiration, rape, rape survivors, sexual assault, Sexual Assault Awareness

As often as I receive them I will be featuring every Monday one of YOUR stories.  By having a VOICE you are speaking out and helping to heal others!  Yuoranda reached out to me via the Hopeful Hearts Ministry Facebook Page and we realized our missions and stories were similar in many regards.  I knew her story, and ministry, will help many.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MY STORY:

I was sexually abused by my step father from age 6 to 16. In addition to the sexual abuse, I was also raped twice, aged out of the Georgia Foster Care System at age 17, a cutter from age 14 to 21, I attempted suicide twice, and constantly saw my mother beaten by my stepfather. Going through all of these trials as well as witnessing my mother turn to alcohol to deal with the dysfunction could have easily destroyed me (and almost did) from the inside out. But it was because of my belief in God and my willingness to forgive & work on myself, that I was able to overcome my brokenness and heal my hurt. Admittedly, the process was not an easy one but I refused to allow my hurt to further dictate my actions or my outlook on life. At what I believed to be my lowest point in life, (homeless in a state with no family & having to beg strangers for food to feed my children) I realized that living life my way was the wrong way. It was then that I decided to face my truth for what it was and allow God to work on me, in me, & through me.

Because there are so many women who have endured the tragedy of sexual abuse and rape and have not healed from their pain, I knew that sharing my voice could possibly help them in some way.

While sitting at work one day, I had the vision to start an organization and Healing R.A.G.E. (Raped & Abused Girls Everywhere) was founded November 2011. Healing R.A.G.E. is a nonprofit organization dedicated to encouraging women who have been raped and abused. We encourage women to get the healing they deserve, so that they can live a life of happiness and have an active role in their healthy living.

Our guiding principle is a scripture taken from the Bible and reads: So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Our mission is to aid in the process of healing, happiness, & healthy living by supporting victims through educational counseling and advocating change while raising awareness.

The purpose of Healing R.A.G.E is to help bring awareness to the world about the long lasting effects of rape & sexual abuse when the victim has not healed properly. Also to help those who have been directly affected heal their hurt through positive affirmations, Godly inspirations, and by sharing my story as well a many other survivor stories. It is my dream to help as many women as possible through my Sister2Sister Mentorship Program, Healing Sessions Support Groups, Healing Calls, Awareness & Prevention Seminars, as well as the many programs under our Community Healing Program.

It is my prayer that many women will be encouraged to start their individual healing journeys, be able to heal their hurt as well as find their own voices to speak out against abuse and rape.

BIO:

Yuoranda (Rhonda) Walker, a survivor of child sexual abuse and rape, is founder of the nonprofit organization Healing R.A.G.E. (Raped & Abused Girls Everywhere). She resides in Houston, TX with her husband and children. In addition to being a wife and mother, Yuoranda is also a newly published author of her true life story titled Healing the Rage Within which can be purchased on Amazon. Yuoranda, an advocate for abuse and rape, enjoys reading, writing, spending time with her family and just enjoying life as God allows her to experience it. You can read more about her organization online at www.healingrage.org. Her organization is also on Face Book at www.facebook.com/healingrage as well as on Twitter @healingrageorg.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let’s give Yuoranda some support and comment to let her know how courageous she is not only for speaking out but moving forward to help other women who have been raped and to heal the rage within.

Blessings

Shannon

Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month (Healing in having a VOICE)

Tags

Abuse survivors, child abuse, Child Abuse Prevention, Easter Hope, Easter Season, finding hope, healing after abuse, healing after tragedy, hope, how to find hope, how to overcome abuse, how to overcome tragedy, sexual assault, Sexual Assault Awareness

Holy Week was as it should be, contemplative and quite rewarding. My family went to a friend’s beach house and on the way we prayed the Divine Chaplet and later that evening watched  The Passion.

Good Friday reminds me of the perspective I know I need to have and of what TRUE LOVE IS.

It is good because April is one busy month for me! Being Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention month I am granted the blessing of having a VOICE for all survivors on various radio programs throughout the month.

(I will list a schedule on the site, find it here: SCHEDULE)

Also I have the honor of other bloggers interviewing me for articles on abuse.

http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/22981-5-signs-of-abuse

I did one this afternoon that will hopefully appear in Parent Magazine (online)…if it is I will try to post it as well.

Lent was trying no doubt but the HOPE of EASTER is with us now…and I feel rejuvenated in spirit.

Throughout this month I will try to share other survivors stories of HOPE and pray it gives you what you need to help in the healing journey. If you wish to share YOUR VOICE and tell a little of your story in order to help others know they are not alone, please contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com.

Blessings

Shannon

Call for SURVIVOR STORIES of HOPE

Tags

abuse, Child Abuse Prevention, child abuse stories, Sexual Assault Awareness, Sexual Assault stories

The month of April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month and also Child Abuse Prevention Month. During the month of April I will highlight YOUR stories of survival on the Just Show Up Blog.

Requirements: At …least 500 words no more than 1000
No graphic details, focus on how you’ve survived, overcome the shame and what you are doing to thrive today.
Send all submissions to hopefulhearts333@gmail.com  between Now and April 25

All submission are subject for approval and proofing/editing at my discretion.

If your submission is chosen you will be asked for a name or psuedo name for publication on www.hopefulheartsministry.com

I’m looking forward to reading and sharing YOUR story of HOPE.

Blessings

Shannon

Cleaning Out Your Fridge (Advice for Survivors of Abuse)

Tags

Child Abuse Prevention, cleaning out the fridge, healing, healing from abuse, Sexual Assault Awareness, survivors of abuse, working on our past

“I thought I dealt with the abuse. I went 10, 20, 30 years without issue so why is it coming up now?” This is a common statement from survivors, especially those of us in the ‘older generations’ who were not as comfortable as the new generation in ‘therapy’ and blogging and posting our feelings and inner struggles for the world to empathize or judge. In the past few weeks I’ve received more than one email from places as far as the UK and Africa from survivors who have either stated how they thought they had ‘gotten past the abuse’ but now the memories, flashbacks, triggers etc are stronger than ever. One survivor realized in order for her to thrive she knew she needed to deal with what kept coming up instead of trying to push it back down -BRAVO – so she confronted her perpetrator. Wow. Talk about deep cleaning!

Often the way one has ‘survived’ abuse is by knowing how to ‘stuff’ the effects away in order to move forward. We learn coping mechanisms that are both healthy and unhealthy. The danger is when we get past the period of abuse and fail to stop to take the time and energy needed to work through the effects of what lingers from the abuse. Too often a survivor will get past the period of abuse and desperate to ‘be normal’ it gets stuffed deep inside to fester and spoil.

It’s like forgetting there are leftovers in the fridge that either need to be eaten or thrown away but with each day new stuff gets put into the fridge and pushes the container of leftovers to the back till one day you open the fridge door and a smells cinges the hairs in your nose. “What is that?” you think and do a quick glance through but can’t see the culprit right in front of you so you shut the door and forget about it.

That night your husband comes home and opens the fridge to grab a drink, “What the heck is that smell?” He squinches up his nose in disgust and closes the door because he figures its your job to find the culprit. But you forget about it because you leave to go out of town and when you get back the smell is now emitting from the fridge and saturated the air in the house. It can’t be ignored anymore you have to stop what you are doing and take the time to clean out the fridge.

You dawn a pair of latex gloves and because the smell is so bad a mask. When you open the fridge the smell crashes into you like a wave and brings tears to your eyes. You wish you could reach in and grab whatever it is that is causing the smell and throw it away but there is so much food that is salvageable right in front of you it’s not easy to find. You have to take out everything on the shelves one by one and inspect the dates and, if it’s a closed container, what is in side.

As you start taking your ‘stuff’ out of the fridge you see how dirty the shelves are and realize the fridge hasn’t been cleaned since you purchased it years before. The dread of having to take everything out in order to not only find the smell but to clean the fridge causes you to want to throw in the towel before you even begun but you are standing there with the gloves and mask on and the afternoon had been miraculously freed up so there was no excuse.

Before you know it you have lined up ice chests behind you to save the salvageable good items (all of the positive gifts and talents that have been hidden by the clutter and stench of the trash) as you clean and soon you realize there were a lot of items in the fridge that were expired and most likely adding to the main culprit. Now you reach deep into the back of the last shelf and there it is, a closed container that has mildew creeping out of the edges of the lid. You hold onto the culprit and feel victorious for having found it but also curious as to what it was that had been left behind. You open the lid to find and unrecognizable casserole that has mounds of mold in all shades of greens and blues.

The smell is atrocious but it is fascinating to see what has become of this concoction. Finally you bid it farewell and put it in its own sealable bag, bag it again, and then throw it away. Feeling accomplished you turn back to the task at hand. Even though you found the culprit now you have a half-empty refrigerator that still needs to be cleaned out with other expired items. It takes time but the deeper you get into cleaning the better you feel and you can’t possibly put back the good items into a frig with dirty shelves.

It takes the entire afternoon but finally your task is complete. “Next time I won’t wait years to clean this fridge.” you say to yourself because you realize the job is so much easier when you keep track of what’s going in and what’s coming out.

Survivors are often reluctant to take the first step of digging into their past because the task seems daunting and at times they are afraid of what they’ll find. Sometimes some choose to deny and ignore and don’t realize the stench (effects) of abuse are following them around, seeped into their actions and reactions. Already affecting their marriages, friendships, etc.

However, when they finally recognize the stench (effects) are affecting everyone around them and they are the only one who is capable of finding the culprit then the grace is given to take the first step. Once we take the time to look into what has been done or said to us, how we have handled it, how it has affected other moments in our lives, it is easier to open the lid despite the smell.

I encourage you, if you have suffered any type of abuse or assault in your past and you have chosen to ‘put it aside’ consider giving yourself the gift to take the time and clean out the fridge. It is a tough first step but the reward is great!

Blessings

Shannon

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Face to Face (Survivors story of facing her perpetrator)

Tags

Abuse survivors, Child Abuse Prevention Month, healing after abuse, incest survivor, rape survivors, Sexual Assault Awareness

Tanya contacted me a few weeks sharing with me her blog http://www.survivingorthrivingnow.com and her personal story. She confronts the man who abused her for years face to face in a poignant video which I knew I needed to share. Below is her story. The video takes some time to ‘watch/listen’ but it is an accurate example of how perpetrators believe their own lies and how they fool many.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My name is Tanya Monteiro, and I’m 43 years old. I’m a marketer, social media buff, yoga teacher, African, daughter, girlfriend and human being. I was also sexually abused by my stepfather from the age of twelve to the age of sixteen.

For a long time I guarded this secret, telling myself I was okay because I was working, I was living, I had friends and I had a life – which, by the way we measure these things, was a successful one. I travelled, met people, had relationships, made money and it took me a long, long time to realise that surviving is just not the same thing as thriving. Not by a long shot.

I was surviving because I was keeping quiet about what had happened to me and what ultimately changed who I was when I was too young to know how to stop it. For fear of hurting my family and the people I loved, I held this secret close to my heart telling myself it was okay now, that it was in the past and that I didn’t have to visit that place of sadness and pain any longer. And I half-believed my lie as I numbed myself with work and projects and the things we find to do when we’re crying inside and don’t know how to make the hurting stop.

This project is about making the cycle stop. Not just for me, but for everybody out there who’s been injured in this way and has been suffering in silence. It will never go away unless we confront it head on; look our heartbreak in the eye and go, ‘hey. I see you. I’m doing something about this’.

For me, it’s speaking my truth by sharing my story. It’s my way of taking it out of the dark and flinging it into the light so that it can stop festering and growing like mould does when it’s left undisturbed.

Part of this process turned out to be documenting, in audio form, a face-to-face conversation I had with my stepfather and his wife. I confronted him and tried to get answers to questions I’d held on to for far too long. I needed some acknowledgement of what he had done; some semblance of an apology that would help me to heal. I didn’t get exactly that, as many of us in this situation don’t.

But, as I discovered, that doesn’t even matter. What it did do is set me free, and I hadn’t even realised that I wasn’t free from him.

Sharing our conversation feels like a small part in my responsibility on breaking the silence and helping to make these cycles stop. I’m proud of myself for standing up to him, looking him in the eyes and forcing him to confront what he did to me.

I never realized how powerful that meeting of the eyes would be, and this is the deeper reason I want to share this audio – to encourage and inspire and help others whose desire is to Thrive.

What I learnt when I was numbing myself with work in London and on Wall Street, with interviewing loads of people for my documentary across the USA, and with teaching yoga and learning to surf in Portugal, is that I will never achieve inner peace until I do something good with the bad I lived through.

It happened to me for a reason, and denying that means denying myself, and what I believe to be my way of living with purpose. It’s time to jump into the arena!

I don’t know exactly what this project looks like yet or how it’s all going to fit together. For now I’m taking the leap and hoping that by sharing what was a meaningful and very real experience for me, I will encourage others to speak out about their experiences too, – maybe even visit their perpetrators and take back their own power.

Embarking on this project makes me feel less like a victim and more like a part of the solution to a situation, which is far too commonplace. I can’t say that I can fix anyone but I can say I’ve been there, I get it, and you are not alone.

I hope to be a small stepping-stone in helping others find their own voices, and to offer the courage to bring their own secrets into the light. I also hope this will help others to discover that inside each of us there is the strength, resilience and passion for living and thriving, something I never knew I had.

Here’s to Surviving AND Thriving!

Thank you for hearing my story.

NOTE: My stepfather was given an opportunity to listen and comment to this audio. I received no answer.

http://www.survivingorthrivingnow.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is imperative that we share and tell our stories for others to know they are not alone. If you would like to share your journey please contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com

Blessings

Shannon

Cleaning Out Your Fridge (Advise for Survivors of Abuse)

Tags

Child Abuse Prevention, cleaning out the fridge, healing, healing from abuse, Sexual Assault Awareness, survivors of abuse, working on our

“I thought I dealt with the abuse. I went 10, 20, 30 years without issue so why is it coming up now?” This is a common statement from survivors, especially those of us in the ‘older generations’ who were not as comfortable as the new generation in ‘therapy’ and blogging and posting our feelings and inner struggles for the world to empathize or judge. In the past few weeks I’ve received more than one email from places as far as the UK and Africa from survivors who have either stated how they thought they had ‘gotten past the abuse’ but now the memories, flashbacks, triggers etc are stronger than ever. One survivor realized in order for her to thrive she knew she needed to deal with what kept coming up instead of trying to push it back down -BRAVO – so she confronted her perpetrator. Wow. Talk about deep cleaning!

Often the way one has ‘survived’ abuse is by knowing how to ‘stuff’ the effects away in order to move forward. We learn coping mechanisms that are both healthy and unhealthy. The danger is when we get past the period of abuse and fail to stop to take the time and energy needed to work through the effects of what lingers from the abuse. Too often a survivor will get past the period of abuse and desperate to ‘be normal’ it gets stuffed deep inside to fester and spoil.

It’s like forgetting there are leftovers in the fridge that either need to be eaten or thrown away but with each day new stuff gets put into the fridge and pushes the container of leftovers to the back till one day you open the fridge door and a smells cinges the hairs in your nose. “What is that?” you think and do a quick glance through but can’t see the culprit right in front of you so you shut the door and forget about it.

That night your husband comes home and opens the fridge to grab a drink, “What the heck is that smell?” He squinches up his nose in disgust and closes the door because he figures its your job to find the culprit. But you forget about it because you leave to go out of town and when you get back the smell is now emitting from the fridge and saturated the air in the house. It can’t be ignored anymore you have to stop what you are doing and take the time to clean out the fridge.

You dawn a pair of latex gloves and because the smell is so bad a mask. When you open the fridge the smell crashes into you like a wave and brings tears to your eyes. You wish you could reach in and grab whatever it is that is causing the smell and throw it away but there is so much food that is salvageable right in front of you it’s not easy to find. You have to take out everything on the shelves one by one and inspect the dates and, if it’s a closed container, what is in side.

As you start taking your ‘stuff’ out of the fridge you see how dirty the shelves are and realize the fridge hasn’t been cleaned since you purchased it years before. The dread of having to take everything out in order to not only find the smell but to clean the fridge causes you to want to throw in the towel before you even begun but you are standing there with the gloves and mask on and the afternoon had been miraculously freed up so there was no excuse.

Before you know it you have lined up ice chests behind you to save the salvageable good items (all of the positive gifts and talents that have been hidden by the clutter and stench of the trash) as you clean and soon you realize there were a lot of items in the fridge that were expired and most likely adding to the main culprit. Now you reach deep into the back of the last shelf and there it is, a closed container that has mildew creeping out of the edges of the lid. You hold onto the culprit and feel victorious for having found it but also curious as to what it was that had been left behind. You open the lid to find and unrecognizable casserole that has mounds of mold in all shades of greens and blues.

The smell is atrocious but it is fascinating to see what has become of this concoction. Finally you bid it farewell and put it in its own sealable bag, bag it again, and then throw it away. Feeling accomplished you turn back to the task at hand. Even though you found the culprit now you have a half-empty refrigerator that still needs to be cleaned out with other expired items. It takes time but the deeper you get into cleaning the better you feel and you can’t possibly put back the good items into a frig with dirty shelves.

It takes the entire afternoon but finally your task is complete. “Next time I won’t wait years to clean this fridge.” you say to yourself because you realize the job is so much easier when you keep track of what’s going in and what’s coming out.

Survivors are often reluctant to take the first step of digging into their past because the task seems daunting and at times they are afraid of what they’ll find. Sometimes some choose to deny and ignore and don’t realize the stench (effects) of abuse are following them around, seeped into their actions and reactions. Already affecting their marriages, friendships, etc.

However, when they finally recognize the stench (effects) are affecting everyone around them and they are the only one who is capable of finding the culprit then the grace is given to take the first step. Once we take the time to look into what has been done or said to us, how we have handled it, how it has affected other moments in our lives, it is easier to open the lid despite the smell.

I encourage you, if you have suffered any type of abuse or assault in your past and you have chosen to ‘put it aside’ consider giving yourself the gift to take the time and clean out the fridge. It is a tough first step but the reward is great!

Blessings

Shannon