Blessings Outshine Sufferings

Tags

Abuse survivors, blessings over sufferings, Bullying, Faith, God's plan for our life, healing after abuse, healing after rape, hope, life after rape, overcoming rape, rape

Last week I had one of the best days ever. Survivor, Caitlin, received one blessing after another in my presence and it as amazing to see her filled with such awe and wonder to God showering her with such love.

If you don’t know, Caitlin is one of my “I Have a Voice” participants and one of my first Hopeful Hearts Ministry ‘survivors’. She was a rape victim at the age of 11 and was 16 when I was introduced to her. She has struggled through bullying, family issues, and it has seemed that every chance she got a ‘leg up’ she’d get knocked down. She is now in her 20’s and she never gave up.

She put herself through homeschool then went on to get a certification in dental hygiene, at the same time working at the local Wal-Mart Central Market. Two weeks ago we had a horrible storm blow through with 60 mph winds that knocked two trees into her home. She lost everything. Clothes, furniture, etc.

That same weekend we had our Taste of Sonoma party that was auctioned at our gala. I briefly told everyone in attendance Caitlin’s story because I wanted to help her in some way. She didn’t ask for the help and she didn’t expect it which made me want to give her more.

By the graciousness of the souls who attended the event I presented her last Wednesday with $960. She broke into tears. “I can’t explain how much of a help this is,” she wrote later in a text. “Thank you so much. It really really means the world to me.” I know she plans to write a thank you to everyone who donated as well.

On that same day, while with me at the office, she received a call she had been anticipating – she got approved for the lowest interest rate to buy a modular home! The light in her eyes made me beam with pride for her. Not to mention the promotion she received at work the day before to Customer Service Manager. (If you live in the Kingwood area be sure to go and say ‘hi’!!)

I went to take a peak at her new, fully furnished, home and it is adorable. She opened the door, turned and said, “It’s like I finally get a clean slate. A brand new start.”

Amen. This is why I love what I do. Caitlin went from a 16-year-old who barely clung to the will to live to a 20-year-old who knows she has an abundance of life waiting for her to enjoy.

Caitlin and her fiance Joe at the Hopeful Hearts Gala

Just one more example to remind you to never never give up.

Blessings

Shannon

Knowing HOPE Exists is Half the Battle

Tags

Abuse survivors, Faith, finding hope, healing, healing after abuse, hope, hope for hopeless, hope never fails, knowing hope

The weather is changing in our area like a sixteen year old changes outfits before a first date. It messes with that hint of OCD I seem to have about keeping things ‘in line’ or ‘in order’… it’s winter, so it should be cold. When it’s summer it’s supposed to be hot which is why the heat never really gets to me because I expect it. 85 degree weather on Christmas Day throws me way out of whack.   It’s just not right!! lol Even though it was hot, though, I knew it wouldn’t last. It’s December…unless the world was truly coming off it’s axis there was no way we’d spend an entire winter with summer weather.

And today… three days after Christmas we are back to 48 degrees. The weather winter deserves.

In a way I think of Hope in this way. It is a consistent, daily promise that there will be comfort, peace, or joy in every person individual circumstance. Last year at this time I found myself thrown off a personal axis…discombobulated and uncertain of what my life was or held for me. For a very brief moment I felt the anxiety ridden lie form from the darkest depths of my soul – “There is no hope for this to change. How will it change?”

By the true mercy and grace of God the lie had no bearings and it fell apart, disintegrated by the truth of what the past sufferings in my life had already taught me – hope never fails. I’ll never forget, in that weakest moment, I fell to my knees in my bedroom and asked God, “Help me.”

2015 was difficult. I struggled. Fought growth and relented to change. I never stopped hoping for the day when I wouldn’t hurt, struggle, or be as weak as the day before. I prayed. I left it in God’s hands and I put my hope in Him.

12 months later I can say my axis is realigned and moving in the proper direction. If I could have spoken to the me then I’m not sure if she would have believed she would come through the year and end up as well as she did…but…I know she hoped she would and that’s all that mattered.

As you near your end of 2015 I pray you are in a place to claim your daily hope. Realizing it exists for a time to come with peace of heart, true joy within, and comfort in your losses. 2016 is the Jubilee Year of Mercy. A celebration of His mercy. There is no better time to hold onto hope than right now.

Blessings

Shannon

Don’t forget! Beginning next week I will be releasing REDEEMED chapter by chapter (probably one week at a time…I still have to figure it out…might have to attach as pdf file ….)! Be sure to share with your friends. If you missed my announcement on Christmas Day click here to read the prologue.

What Is Hopeful Hearts Ministry? (Healing in Helping Others)

Tags

Abuse survivors, giving hope, healing, helping survivors of abuse, hope, hopeful hearts ministry, overcoming abuse, periscope video, thriving after abuse

I did this short video on Periscope a week ago and wanted to share it with all of you who might still wonder ‘What IS Hopeful Hearts Ministry’? Or even how it all began. WARNING I did this all natural… And I began a little too high pitched…but I am my worst critic. Don’t judge!

Blessings

Shannon

Fighting Back – Kaitlyn’s Story

Tags

child abuse, Child Abuse Awareness, child sexual abuse, Faith, healing, healing after abuse, hope, inspiration, romans 8:38, spiritual, spiritual warfare

*Reposted from last year*

Kaitlyn reached out to me when I posted that I wanted YOUR STORIES and asked if I was serious.  ABSOLUTELY I’m serious!  2014 is about YOU having YOUR VOICE in order to give others HOPE.  I know it takes a LOT to not only have a voice but to also put it out there to share with the world.  Which makes sharing her story, and any others I have coming soon, that much more precious to me.  It takes courage and I am so proud to have this opportunity to share with you Kaitlyn’s story.

Side note, another exciting aspect of sharing her story is having her share with me that she heard me speak to her high school almost five years ago!  To know that she is still encouraged to follow along my journey is humbling.  SHOW HER SOME LOVE and let her know how amazing she is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say that one moment can change your life forever, and it is true. When I was four years old I was molested by my mom’s friend’s son, and that moment changed my life forever. I didn’t know exactly what it meant at the time, but I did feel that it was something I couldn’t share with anyone, and I didn’t for a long time. For about seven years I kept silent and did horrible, unhealthy things to my body as some way to cope with the memory.  The more I reached the reality of it all, the more tempting it was to do these things to myself. I finally stopped these behaviors in the eighth grade. These actions made me completely hate myself. I confessed these sins and vowed to never practice them again. This left freedom, but also a great emptiness in my life. Actions that I had used to define me did not exist anymore. Things went downhill for a few years. I got little to no sleep, tossing and turning from flashbacks and racing thoughts. I became severely depressed and my only temporary escape was the few moments that I would have completely alone and to myself, where I would cry hysterically until I had nothing left.

It was when I was a sophomore in high school when I had said enough was enough. In the privacy of confession, I confronted my high school chaplain. I felt vulnerable and ashamed, but I needed help. I needed to really cope with the event, and forgive myself for the effects. The first meeting with him outside of the confessional was one of the hardest. I had to recount every horrible detail to him. I hardly knew this priest, and I was letting him in on every pitiful detail of my life. He coincided with a Catholic psychologist whom I could only meet with once without parental consent. The thing was is my parents didn’t know anything. My progress came to a halt as my next step was to tell them and that petrified me. I will never forget the day that my mom, dad, and I sat in Father’s office. This was one of my hardest moments in life. I couldn’t speak or look at them. Father had to take over the meeting as I was frozen in fear. They were about to know everything.  Afterwards, a huge weight was lifted, and we hugged in the high school hallway and cried. They had no idea; they couldn’t believe it.  It was the first time that I had seen my dad cry, and the first time my parents had a taste of the inner torment I had hidden from them for 12 years. Things at home changed drastically. My parents had a daughter who was hurting, and they did all they could to show love and support.

After this meeting, I met with Father and the psychologist on a regular basis. We even pulled in my family physician. I needed healing, forgiveness, love, courage, and faith and I was getting it medically, psychologically, and spiritually. I wanted to attack this dark cloud from all angles. The journey over the next few years was a roller coaster; good times and bad. The spring of my freshman year of college though, things got really bad. I don’t know if it was the new environment that triggered it, but I was falling apart. I doubted God’s love and mercy; there was such a distance. I would look up to the skies and say, “How dare you to have allowed this to happen to me. Why Lord?”  I had uncontrollable thoughts and dreams that I felt even the devil himself would have been ashamed of. They tormented me; involved those I loved most. I woke up disgusted with myself. The dreams were so vivid and real that it felt like I had actually done these actions; I felt the guilt of them. I knew these things tormenting my brain were not of me. They killed me inside. It was at this time that it was decided the next step would be an exorcism for the relief of an obsession. I received the right of exorcism over six times. After the first series, I had never felt so free. God gave me two days of complete freedom; I got to enjoy the Kaitlyn without all of the baggage, the sin, the guilt, the hurt. It was pure bliss. But it ended, and there were more sessions to come. It was just this year that the sessions ended and the darkness of evil had completely lifted.

Where I sit now is tough. I have forgiven my molester and am just sort of sitting still for a while. I am being allowed to just be; not going backward and slowly moving forward I still have my struggles, and still have my therapies, but I am such a better person, a different person, a stronger person than I was 16 years ago. There is emptiness where my past was, and my job now, what I am fighting for now, is to fill it with God’s love. I was encouraged by my spiritual director (my former high school chaplain) to envision a white space, an empty pure space, where I ask God to enter and reside. It is a calm meditation for still such a busy mind. I need to completely let go and let God in. I don’t have to do this by myself. I am not defined by this. I have a voice. There is a reason for this journey.

Now I am putting my energy into something much more positive. I have one more year of undergrad, and then I plan to attend medical school. Nothing gets me more excited or my heart more on fire than the thought of helping people through faith and medicine.  I have so much support from my family, and those who have helped me on this journey. God is so good!

*~Kaitlyn is the oldest of seven children from Bismarck, ND. She is currently a junior at the University of Mary where she plans to graduate with a major in biology (pre-med concentration), as well as a minor in Catholic studies and chemistry. She hopes to attend medical school following graduation. Aside from school she likes being outside, traveling, photography, dancing, being with family, and playing with her pet cat, dog, and sugar glider.~*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, Kaitlyn, for sharing your story.

If YOU have a story you would like to share please contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com.

Show Kaitlyn some LOVE and leave her a comment below!

Blessings

Shannon

Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month (Healing in having a VOICE)

Tags

Abuse survivors, child abuse, Child Abuse Prevention, Easter Hope, Easter Season, finding hope, healing after abuse, healing after tragedy, hope, how to find hope, how to overcome abuse, how to overcome tragedy, sexual assault, Sexual Assault Awareness

Holy Week was as it should be, contemplative and quite rewarding. My family went to a friend’s beach house and on the way we prayed the Divine Chaplet and later that evening watched  The Passion.

Good Friday reminds me of the perspective I know I need to have and of what TRUE LOVE IS.

It is good because April is one busy month for me! Being Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention month I am granted the blessing of having a VOICE for all survivors on various radio programs throughout the month.

(I will list a schedule on the site, find it here: SCHEDULE)

Also I have the honor of other bloggers interviewing me for articles on abuse.

http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/22981-5-signs-of-abuse

I did one this afternoon that will hopefully appear in Parent Magazine (online)…if it is I will try to post it as well.

Lent was trying no doubt but the HOPE of EASTER is with us now…and I feel rejuvenated in spirit.

Throughout this month I will try to share other survivors stories of HOPE and pray it gives you what you need to help in the healing journey. If you wish to share YOUR VOICE and tell a little of your story in order to help others know they are not alone, please contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com.

Blessings

Shannon

Our Father (Healing Day 5)

Tags

Faith, finding hope after tragedy, hope, how to begin again in faith, how to fight the enemy, how to heal after abuse, how to overcome abuse, how to overcome betrayal, how to overcome tragedy, Our Father, Prayer over the enemy

I hit the day running.

And my God ran right after me and said, “Hold on! Wait one second. Don’t forget ME.”

In spiritual direction this morning Fr. Alfonso reiterated the POWER praying the OUR FATHER has on the enemy.

In reciting the OUR FATHER I found my JOY today.

Say it with me. Right now. Pray it. Slowly. One verse at a time realizing that by the time you get to ‘as we forgive those who trespassed against us’ that you have already called upon the will of the Lord to help you to forgive. It’s okay if you can’t but God can. 🙂

Finally, I received this text from a friend of mine and it was as if God handed it directly to me and said, “See, I know the situation. There is always more than one victim…but with ME you are both SURVIVORS.”

*Please note* This video may be triggering to abuse survivors…it is meant for you but I’m giving fair warning. It is lengthy but please, watch to the end.

Blessings

Shannon

unHOPEless – Takiela Bynum’s Story

Tags

cutting, Faith, hope, scarless letter, self-harm, self-mutilation

Blessed to have a special guest post for you today.  Takiela and I are both Choose-Now Columnists ‘On Hope’ and what I love about Takiela is her passion to help young women who hurt and choose to self-harm because of this hurt.  When we self-harm we are giving into the hurt and loving it MORE than we love ourselves.  We are allowing the worthlessness and shame to mute our true feelings and emotions and the only way they can be released is through the cut, the purge, the starvation, or self-medication.  It’s time we take back our lives and begin to LOVE OURSELVES MORE than the blade, the warped image and high.  YOU ARE WORTH MORE.

Here is Takiela’s story of learning to love herself MORE:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

unHOPEless

Some people cut for relief, I cut because I wanted to die.

She’d taken several pain killers to prevent her from feeling any pain. Besides, she needed a backup plan in case the other thing didn’t work out.

She located the vein, turned her head and quickly slid the razor across her flesh. She winced at the sharp sting. The warm ooze drizzled down her hand and left its trail on the hard wood floor. She climbed into bed and hoped for death to quietly greet her while she slept.

That was a dark day in my teen life, one I’ll probably never forget. The pain and hurt I endured left me hopeless. Numb from any feelings of hope and craving death.

I know what it’s like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Family issues, the kids at school, boy drama, grades, and the list goes on. Sometimes, life has a way of upgrading from bad to worse.

When in a hopeless state of mind, having hopeless thoughts and making hopeless decisions come with the territory (i.e. depression, cutting, suicide thoughts/attempts, etc.)

In actuality, although I didn’t realize it at the time, my hopeless disposition conveyed that even God is incapable of salvaging my mess of a life. It’s entirely too complicated for Him. From my view, things were the worst it could ever be and would always be this way – hopeless. Ultimately, I shut out the only One who could bring me out.

Thank God His view is far beyond mine, His thoughts and ways soar high above my own. I was absolutely oblivious to God’s plan for my life. I desired death, but the Lord…abundant life. There is no way anyone would have convinced me that God had a plan for my life that was full of hope. I would have completely rejected the idea.

Since I was a little girl I’ve I loved math. Why? Because to every problem there was an answer, each formula would provide an inevitable solution, simplifying the complex. I wanted answers to my life’s problems. Me plus life never equaled hope. Ever. However, Christ plus life always equals hope. Always. It took some time, but after many struggles here’s what I know, the Lord is my answer and He is neither simple nor complicated.

Can you relate to any of my struggles? Do you know anyone who self-harms? I’d like to invite you to join me in taking The Scarless Pledge right now!

Today let’s make a pledge, from this day forward we’re going “scarless!” We can’t do anything about the old scars but we can choose not to make new scars. Let’s put down our razors and pick up scarlet red eyeliner. When or if we ever get the urge to cut, use the red eyeliner. It’ll help remind you of the blood Jesus shed on the cross for you and it’ll also wash away…never leaving a scar.

I, (insert name here), being of sound mind and body, here do pledge to God and all who love me on this month (insert month here), of this day (insert day here), in this year (insert year here) to bury all self-harming ways, never to be exhumed again! In the sight of God and all witnesses, I promise if and/or when I get the urge to self-harm, I’ll replace my instrument of destruction with an instrument that represents hope, a scarlet red eyeliner pencil, instead. I will do this in remembrance of the blood Jesus shed on the cross for me, (insert name here). I am committed to the “scarless” pledge. With God nothing is impossible.

Find an accountability partner, someone who will help you commit to this pledge. Know that you have fans cheering you on and praying for you in heaven and all over the earth. Even though I’ll already be praying, if you’d like me to pray for a specific person/situation or if I can help in another way comment below publicly or email me privately (takiela@takielabynum.com).Take the “scarless” pledge today!

 

Find out more at www.TakielaBynum.com

Takiela Bynum is a speaker and author with a passion for hurting women (teens/adults). She empowers and encourages young women to have hope in Christ, equipping them with the tools (word of God) necessary to live victoriously in spite of life’s tragedies. She tackles hard topics while pointing young women to the redemptive power of the cross.

In addition, she mentors young women (teens/adults), is a Ministry Leader at Campus Crusaders for Christ (also known as Cru, formerly known as Student Venture), a writer for the Sisterhood Magazine, Choose NOW Ministries (with Nicole O’Dell) and more. A sought-after speaker for women’s events and youth, Takiela has been key note speaker and session/workshop speaker at numerous conferences, retreats, and events.

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You do not have to be an author to tell YOUR STORY.  I want to hear from YOU.  When you are able to have a voice not only do others listen but they realize they are not alone.  Email me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com  if you are interested in telling your story on Just Show Up, it can be anonymous or if you have a ministry or story of HOPE to offer we’d love to highlight how God has ‘shown up’ in your life!

Blessings

Shannon

Fighting Back – Kaitlyn’s Story

Tags

child abuse, childhood sexual abuse, Faith, healing, hope, inspirational, spiritual warfare

Kaitlyn reached out to me when I posted that I wanted YOUR STORIES and asked if I was serious.  ABSOLUTELY I’m serious!  2014 is about YOU having YOUR VOICE in order to give others HOPE.  I know it takes a LOT to not only have a voice but to also put it out there to share with the world.  Which makes sharing her story, and any others I have coming soon, that much more precious to me.  It takes courage and I am so proud to have this opportunity to share with you Kaitlyn’s story.

Side note, another exciting aspect of sharing her story is having her share with me that she heard me speak to her high school almost five years ago!  To know that she is still encouraged to follow along my journey is humbling.  SHOW HER SOME LOVE and let her know how amazing she is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say that one moment can change your life forever, and it is true. When I was four years old I was molested by my mom’s friend’s son, and that moment changed my life forever. I didn’t know exactly what it meant at the time, but I did feel that it was something I couldn’t share with anyone, and I didn’t for a long time. For about seven years I kept silent and did horrible, unhealthy things to my body as some way to cope with the memory.  The more I reached the reality of it all, the more tempting it was to do these things to myself. I finally stopped these behaviors in the eighth grade. These actions made me completely hate myself. I confessed these sins and vowed to never practice them again. This left freedom, but also a great emptiness in my life. Actions that I had used to define me did not exist anymore. Things went downhill for a few years. I got little to no sleep, tossing and turning from flashbacks and racing thoughts. I became severely depressed and my only temporary escape was the few moments that I would have completely alone and to myself, where I would cry hysterically until I had nothing left.

It was when I was a sophomore in high school when I had said enough was enough. In the privacy of confession, I confronted my high school chaplain. I felt vulnerable and ashamed, but I needed help. I needed to really cope with the event, and forgive myself for the effects. The first meeting with him outside of the confessional was one of the hardest. I had to recount every horrible detail to him. I hardly knew this priest, and I was letting him in on every pitiful detail of my life. He coincided with a Catholic psychologist whom I could only meet with once without parental consent. The thing was is my parents didn’t know anything. My progress came to a halt as my next step was to tell them and that petrified me. I will never forget the day that my mom, dad, and I sat in Father’s office. This was one of my hardest moments in life. I couldn’t speak or look at them. Father had to take over the meeting as I was frozen in fear. They were about to know everything.  Afterwards, a huge weight was lifted, and we hugged in the high school hallway and cried. They had no idea; they couldn’t believe it.  It was the first time that I had seen my dad cry, and the first time my parents had a taste of the inner torment I had hidden from them for 12 years. Things at home changed drastically. My parents had a daughter who was hurting, and they did all they could to show love and support.

After this meeting, I met with Father and the psychologist on a regular basis. We even pulled in my family physician. I needed healing, forgiveness, love, courage, and faith and I was getting it medically, psychologically, and spiritually. I wanted to attack this dark cloud from all angles. The journey over the next few years was a roller coaster; good times and bad. The spring of my freshman year of college though, things got really bad. I don’t know if it was the new environment that triggered it, but I was falling apart. I doubted God’s love and mercy; there was such a distance. I would look up to the skies and say, “How dare you to have allowed this to happen to me. Why Lord?”  I had uncontrollable thoughts and dreams that I felt even the devil himself would have been ashamed of. They tormented me; involved those I loved most. I woke up disgusted with myself. The dreams were so vivid and real that it felt like I had actually done these actions; I felt the guilt of them. I knew these things tormenting my brain were not of me. They killed me inside. It was at this time that it was decided the next step would be an exorcism for the relief of an obsession. I received the right of exorcism over six times. After the first series, I had never felt so free. God gave me two days of complete freedom; I got to enjoy the Kaitlyn without all of the baggage, the sin, the guilt, the hurt. It was pure bliss. But it ended, and there were more sessions to come. It was just this year that the sessions ended and the darkness of evil had completely lifted.

Where I sit now is tough. I have forgiven my molester and am just sort of sitting still for a while. I am being allowed to just be; not going backward and slowly moving forward I still have my struggles, and still have my therapies, but I am such a better person, a different person, a stronger person than I was 16 years ago. There is emptiness where my past was, and my job now, what I am fighting for now, is to fill it with God’s love. I was encouraged by my spiritual director (my former high school chaplain) to envision a white space, an empty pure space, where I ask God to enter and reside. It is a calm meditation for still such a busy mind. I need to completely let go and let God in. I don’t have to do this by myself. I am not defined by this. I have a voice. There is a reason for this journey.

Now I am putting my energy into something much more positive. I have one more year of undergrad, and then I plan to attend medical school. Nothing gets me more excited or my heart more on fire than the thought of helping people through faith and medicine.  I have so much support from my family, and those who have helped me on this journey. God is so good!

*~Kaitlyn is the oldest of seven children from Bismarck, ND. She is currently a junior at the University of Mary where she plans to graduate with a major in biology (pre-med concentration), as well as a minor in Catholic studies and chemistry. She hopes to attend medical school following graduation. Aside from school she likes being outside, traveling, photography, dancing, being with family, and playing with her pet cat, dog, and sugar glider.~*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, Kaitlyn, for sharing your story.

If YOU have a story you would like to share please contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com.

Show Kaitlyn some LOVE and leave her a comment below!

Blessings

Shannon

I Have a Voice – Miguel (Finding Faith After Abuse by a Priest)

Tags

abuse, forgiveness, healing, hope, inspiration, pastor abuse, priest abuse

To view other I Have a Voice videos visit:  https://justshowup1.wordpress.com/i-have-a-voice-videos/