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Tag Archives: healing after addiction

*Guest Post* AUD (Alcohol Use Disorder) and Me (Healing After Addiction)

14 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

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Tags

abuse and addiction, abuse survivors who turn into addicts, Addiction, Alcohol Use Disorder, Alcoholism, AUD, healing, healing after addiction, How to heal from alcoholism, overcoming addiction

A story resides in every person and when we are able to voice it and share it we can begin to heal within. Often I receive requests from others to share their products, books, etc and if I feel it can help the person AND a reader then I am more than happy to collaborate.

Today’s post is such a story. Mel emailed me an article on the rise of AUD (Alcohol Use Disorder). I read through the article and found it very informative but I didn’t have her personal connection. I told her I’d share if she’d be willing to share what led her to focus’ on the rise of AUD.

Often survivors of abuse turn to some form of chemical dependency. Many might not even realize the numbness the alcohol (or drug) brings is masking the scars of shame and pain of past abuses that have been pushed deep inside. If you relate to the story below please consider turning to someone you trust for help. Begin today by voicing and sharing your story so you can heal within.

Here is Mel’s story:

AUD and Me

Even now I find it hard to pinpoint when exactly my alcoholism began. When my drinking stopped being recreational and started to become a dependency. When the nights out stopped being a novelty and started to become a necessity. It was only when I sat in my doctors surgery and read the criteria for being diagnosed with an alcohol use disorder (or AUD) that I realized I ticked every box. In that moment I knew I had to change.

It all started when I was in my early twenties. I was newly graduated as a journalist and had landed an internship at a fashion magazine in the city. With the promise of a permanent job at the end, I snapped up the opportunity and moved four hours away from my family and hometown to pursue the career of my dreams.

But things weren’t quite as I’d expected. The work was everything I’d hoped for but I was young, meek, mild and far away from home. I was overwhelmed and the office was such a high pressured environment – not just professionally but socially too. I learnt very quickly that looking the part and fitting in with the girls in the office was the key to survival in such a ruthless industry. Most nights after work they’d head to a bar and I tagged along, desperate to make friends, reluctant to go back to the silence of my empty apartment and eager to find some relief from the stresses and strains of such a demanding job.

And boy, could those girls drink. Bottles of wine with dinner would lead to shots in the club and before I knew it, there was only a few hours before I had to up for work. But whilst they always managed to arrive preened, perfect and professional despite a night of heavy drinking, I was groggy, tired and hungover. One night I stayed at one of the girl’s apartment and the next morning I caught her topping up our breakfast juice with vodka.

‘Hair of the dog, Mel,’ she shrugged ‘it’ll get you through the morning.’

hard thing to do

And it did. But by the afternoon I felt worse than ever. My work was suffering, my internship was in jeopardy and I vowed to cut down on my drinking. Only it had become a habit. The nights out were taking their toll but the nights alone in my apartment were feeling miserable and filled with anxiety…until I opened a bottle of wine and then things seemed better for a while. This vicious cycle carried on for a few months before the magazine finally got sick of me arriving late, disheveled and stinking of booze. The girls who had got me into the party lifestyle were quick to shun me when they saw what a liability I had become. With no job, no prospects and no money to pay the rent on my swish city apartment I had no choice but to return back home to my stunned parents.

From there I spiraled into depression. Their disappointment in me was palpable and even in my alcohol-fuddled brain I was acutely aware just how much I’d messed up my future. Of course, this only made me rely more on alcohol and despite my parents’ best efforts to stop me, I always found a way to get my next drink whether that was begging, borrowing or stealing. One night my mother came downstairs in the middle of the night to find me trying to pick the lock on their liquor cabinet and the next day she practically dragged me to the doctors surgery.

Even as I sat defiantly in the waiting room I refused to believe I had a problem. It was only when the doctor gave me a leaflet on AUD and the associated symptoms that I felt something click in my brain. The cravings, the withdrawal symptoms, the desire to drink even though it was wrecking everything…this was my life. Acknowledgement was the first step. After that recovery was long, hard and painful. I was lucky to have the support of my family to get me through. But now, eight years on, I have been clean from alcohol since that day in the doctors surgery. I now have a loving husband, two young children and am using my journalism degree to pursue a career as a freelance copywriter. I count my blessings everyday.

persecuted but not destroyed

The sad fact is that cases of AUD are on the rise. Drinking is such a popular social pastime that, like me, people get sucked into the lifestyle and develop addictions without even realizing it is happening to them. They do it to cope with the stresses of modern life or to unwind or to fit in. They think that it is harmless but as I found to my cost, it is a habit that can quickly escalate into something much more sinister.

A new study published in JAMA Psychiatry is reporting that almost 30% of adults in the United States will have had an alcohol use disorder (AUD) at some stage in their lives. It is believed that only a small percentage of those will seek help for it, which means many leave their symptoms untreated. In this fascinating article, Anne Fletcher uncovers and discusses why this might be and what we can do to help alleviate the increasing problems many people have with alcohol: http://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-articles/new-study-reveals-sharp-spike-in-alcohol-use-disorders/.
“Writer Mel Gill has had a long journey to get to her current place. She’s now a mom to two small girls and is making her way as a professional writer – a career she’d always known she was made for, but made more difficult to attain by her drink problems. When she’s not writing, she spends time with her family and their menagerie of pets”

Blessings

Shannon

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Walls Come Crumbling Down (Healing Day 12 & 13)

13 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

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healing, healing after abuse, healing after addiction, healing after betrayal, healing after tragedy, how to overcome abuse, john mellencamp walls come crumbling down, overcome betrayal, overcome tragedy

I’m a child of the 80’s. Do you remember the song The Walls Come Crumbling Down by John Mellencamp?

walls crumbling

Some people ain’t no damn good
You can’t trust ‘em you can’t love ‘em
No good deed goes unpunished
And I don’t mind bein’ their whippin’ boy

I’ve had that pleasure for years and years
No no I never was a sinner tell me what else can I do
Second best is what you get till you learn to bend the rules
And time respects no person and what you lift up must fall
They’re waiting outside to claim my tumblin’ walls

When the walls come tumblin’ down
When the walls come crumblin’ crumblin’
When the walls come tumblin’ tumblin’ down
Yeah yeah yeah

Read more: John Mellencamp – Crumblin’ Down Lyrics | MetroLyrics

That’s what I’ve been doing these past two days…trying to ‘change it’ and knock down the walls brick by brick.
I made great strides in 24 hours which help me to try and …because I refuse to spend my days in the dirt (or as someone’s whipping boy). ;)
So soon I will see things change because that is what happens when you try.
My joy in these days of hard personal work?  Music…always music. One of my favorites is Shawn McDonald.
Listen and I pray it brings you joy.
Blessings
Shannon

Power of a Support System (Healing Day 7)

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Abuse survivors, accepting God's love, accepting support, God's love, healing after abuse, healing after addiction, healing after tragedy, how to overcome a loss, how to overcome betrayal, overcoming betrayal, overcoming hardship, receiving support from loved ones, setting up a support system

It takes a village not only to raise a child but to keep us, as individuals, sane.

“Could you survive in the wilderness alone?” I pondered this question, a fun little ice breaker question given by a girlfriend, and I realized even though I might find a way to manage physically, mentally I don’t know where my faculties would be after a long period of time.

support systemI need support. One person, two, sometimes even three people to hear me. To listen to what is on my heart. To keep my mind from going in the wrong direction and to validate when I need to stand up for what feels right in my gut.

The key to finding true power in support is making sure they are grounded in the same belief system and morality that you live and strive to sustain. My support would be of little use if they agreed with every word I said or failed to realize my emotions were overpowering rationality. The true power of a support system is when we can trust their direction when we know ours might be a bit biased or faulty, which is exactly what happens in times of tragedy and suffering.

God is my number one support. In his word I find comfort, validation, hope and when needed (and I’m willing to listen) loving correction to help me stay on the path toward complete healing and joy. Because God is my #1 I choose to find friends that make him their #1 as well, this way I know if we are in prayer together then when my spirit is weak they shine Christ’s light upon the situation so we can see where the impurities lie.

I’m blessed with an amazing group of women to lean on and I count YOU as an integral player in my support. Already I’ve received phone calls, emails, texts, and even cards in the mail to offer prayer, support and love. THANK YOU.

image

It might be frustrating for you to not know the ’cause’ of my inner struggle but the cause is not what matters. All that matters is recognizing that every struggle is an opportunity for growth.  We can name the ‘struggle’ death, depression, chronic illness, betrayal, life-change, shame, guilt, despair, etc, etc. Call ‘it’ whatever you like, the journey to healing is all the same.

We were never meant to go it alone. Why do you think God created Eve? ;) And interesting fact…when Eve at the apple and she persuaded Adam to as well…what was their first reaction when God asked them what happened? Defense

‘She made me.’ ‘The serpent made me.’ etc. But we all know they had the choice to eat the apple or not.

As we have a choice to live happy or not. It’s not easy some days…and admittedly some days I’m so overcome and weak by the ‘evil’ of this struggle that I want to wallow in it and fester. But then it stinks after awhile and it is not what my spirit is used to. I can’t do it. As much as the evil in it wants me to remain in that place GOD DID NOT CREATE ME TO FESTER IN EVIL. He created me with love, by love and for LOVE.

We love because He loved us

So this is my joy today… recognizing those who are my support system and receiving their love. I love you too! :)

Take a moment to reach out to your support, whether it be your husband, wife, mother, father, friend, co-worker, send a note and thank them for loving you through it.

Blessings

Shannon

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