REDEEMED Ch. 10 Called Not Qualified

Tags

Baptism waters, CCE, Christ's Baptism, dealing with the loss from suicide, Depression, Faith, healing after abuse, healing after depression, overcoming depression, suicide, teaching CCE

Re-editing and going through this chapter was difficult. Brings back the deep pain of loss. This chapter deals with suicide. I feel like I should forewarn you just because I know how delicate this issue can be.

For those of you who have ever suffered through depression, or any type of mental imbalance, know  you are not alone. Your struggle is real and I want to validate this for you. In the same breathe I want to remind you that God is greater than the depleting force of depression and mental illness. Please don’t give up.

REDEEMED Ch. 10 Blog Release

We are now half way through the book. If you have missed any of the previous chapters feel free to click here to go back and catch up! Just Show Up Blog – REDEEMED

Blessings

Shannon

A few disclaimers:
**The author, Shannon M. Deitz, obtains all rights to REDEEMED, no portion of this story can be used or sold without the author’s written permission.**
Before REDEEMED was to go to print it had not yet made the ‘copy-editing’ phase…please excuse any mistakes or grammatical errors.

Read the early part of Shannon’s healing journey in EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him. Available on Amazon Audible, and only $1.99 on Kindle.

*NO MORE NEW HARD COPIES WILL BE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON…WE HAVE SOLD OUT EXCEPT FOR WHAT I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION.*

Buy your SIGNED COPY of Exposed at Jennika’s – A Bazaar Place at King’s Harbor!

I’m Afraid for You – Guest Post

Tags

abuse, Depression, domestic abuse, domestic violence, domestic violence abuse survivors, domestic violence awarenes, domestic violence help, escape plan, escape plan for domestic abuse survivors, escape route for survivors, poetry, survivors of abuse

I feel prompted to share with you all this amazing poetry from Diana Rasmussen.  When I read this it grabbed me and I realize how often we might ‘turn the other cheek’ on our ‘neighbors.’  I think about the three women who were recently rescued in Cleveland, OH and wonder how many moments occurred among neighbors that something ‘just didn’t seem right’?

God gave us all a gift – intuition and instinct.  Don’t let these gifts go to waste.  Learn to trust these gifts – they could save your life or others.  There is also a wonderful Safety Plan at the end of this post.

Blessings

Shannon

I’M AFRAID FOR YOUShe lived in the trailer right across the street

not much of a neighbor she kept to herself

When the sun went down the fights would start

noises travel in a trailer park

I went over one day with cookies in hand

saw the fear in her eyes

said I’m afraid for you

I heard what he called you last night

what he’s doing just isn’t right

My door’s always open anytime day or night

I’m afraid for you

That night he came home smelled something amiss

he started screaming and yelling

I heard punching fists

Afraid for my friend I called 911

it was time for this to be done

I’m afraid for you

I heard what he called you last night

what he’s doing just isn’t right

My door’s always open anytime day or night

I’m afraid for you

She stood in the driveway

blood on her white gown

cops took him away

when I said I’m afraid for you

I heard what he called you last night

what he’s doing just isn’t right

My door’s always open

anytime day or night

I’m afraid for you

Part of Diana’s Story:

“I have lived in abuse, years upon years, relationship upon relationship. I have been married – more than once, and I have been divorced – more than once, to abusive men. I have been to the shelters, time and again. I have had restraining orders, had them broken, and called the police again. I have been to court more times that I can count. I have fought for my children and their rights for child support. I had had 3 suicide attempts and thank you Lord, I did not succeed. I have been to the Mental Health Ward – more than once. I have gone to the counselors, taken the “happy pills” and lived in ‘la-la land” for months at a time. I have been treated for depression and at one time in my life, I did not get out of bed for 6 months.

I have laughed, I have cried, I have believed, and I have doubted. But through it all, God has been faithful. He has made a way for me and my children where there was no way. He has protected me and my children supernaturally, more than once. He has provided for us faithfully – oh the stories I could tell! He has restored my peace of mind. I am no longer taking any ‘happy pills’! I do not hear “the voices” in my head that used to scream things at me, or whisper and laugh at me.

I do not live in the land of shame and guilt anymore, I have changed addresses!

I am not that same person. I have lived free from fear and abuse for the last 8 years, and today I can say, because of Christ – I am free!

Thank you Jesus!

A few years back God even blessed me with a Godly husband, one who encourages and supports me.  We play praise music together every week at Church.  It is rather healthy I have ot say and I am forever grateful.  But I had to learn what healthy relationships were and to establish boundaries in my life.

Today, I do not live in fear. Today I am not a victim of abuse, I am a beloved daughter of the King. I am life that God touched, rescued, and changed. I know that God exists, He saved my soul from the pit,  He protected me and my children and I know He will do it for you too!”

Diana’s Bio 

Diana Rasmussen is a Music Minister, Blogger, Poetess, and Recording Artist who uses her gifts to shed light on the darkness of Domestic Violence. At the beginning of this year, God asked her to ‘quit playing Church’ and start to testify about what He had delivered her from. That was the beginning of Prayers and Promises.

Diana Rasmussen is a Soul Survivor, as many of you are too. Her songs focus on overcoming adversity, breaking free from domestic violence, and living beyond depression. Fans have called her songs, “haunting, powerful, and edgy”. Diana sounds like Annie Lennox and Bonnie Raitt, and there is a raw honesty about her lyrics. Diana has many TOP 10 AWARDS from Broadjam, Inc. in the Country, Folk, Jazz, and World Categories.

Currently Diana leads the Worship Team at Janesville Apostolic Ministries in Janesville, WI. She has been blessed to play with her husband Bob, and sing with many Anointed Singers. Diana has been a Music Minister for the last 20years in various churches, shelters, nursing homes, and community meals in the southern Wisconsin area.

To learn more about Diana go to her website:  http://dianarasmussen.com/

SAFETY PLAN

What Can I Do? (Healing Our Loved Ones Who Hurt)

Tags

abuse, Addiction, codependency, Depression, helping a loved one overcome abuse, helping a loved one overcome addiction, helping our loved ones, how to help those suffering, overcoming hardships

Often I hear from loved ones who have someone in their life suffering from past abuses, depression, or addiction, who is, in their opinion, reacting and responding to life in such a way that it is harmful to themselves or those around them. What can I do? is the plea.

I’m asked this often enough that I chose to highlight my response in the Hopeful Hearts Newsletter last week. I know not all of you receive it (though you can sign up to! ) and I wanted to share my response with all of you. Maybe one of you is asking the very same question and my heart goes out to you in this time.

When you have a loved one hurting it can often feel like you are BOTH in chains to the issue. Whether they are dealing with effects from abuse, addiction, low self-esteem, depression, or relationship dilemmas when we see the ones we love hurt and struggle with the pain, often making what we consider ‘bad decisions’, we want to ‘fix it’ for them.

In trying to ‘fix them’ our loved ones become even more agitated, sucked deeper into the victim mentality, or feel like a burden because now not only do they struggle with their main problem, but they take on the burden of being your problem to ‘fix’.

So what CAN you do to help?

• LISTEN with LOVE – even though the answer to help someone might be clear to you, it is often not as clear to our loved one who can’t see through the walls they’ve built up as a protection from the abuse, or through the drug/ alcohol haze of the addiction,  or are they capable of seeing beyond the pain that blinds them in this moment. When you LISTEN without a solution or judgment it begins to open your loved one to hear their own voice, strengthens their worth and validates the pain.

(When you listen with love without a ready solution it sets YOU FREE from the chains of your loved ones issue.  The solution they choose has to come from within them and with their own strength and choice.)

 

• PROVIDE RESOURCES – There is nothing wrong with offering resources to your loved one – names of therapists, treatment centers that might help, local support groups, websites or blogs that encourage and empower, etc. But that is it – you point them in the direction, let them know you believe in them and care for them, and then allow them to choose if and when they will utilize the proper resources.

 

• PRAY – Only God can save. Offer up prayers for your loved one and ask God to give you the strength to trust your loved one to HIM.

 

• TAKE CARE OF YOU – In situations where our loved ones are suffering through a great amount of hurt and pain it often leads us to feel guilty if we are not suffering through the same pain. Often we can look over what our own issues are and focus more on our loved ones. The best influence and support you can be to your loved one is the HEALTHIEST, POSITIVE VERSION OF YOU.

Blessings

Shannon

 

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Don’t Panic (Healing Day 2)

Tags

Depression, Faith, finding joy, finding joy in hard times, God's plan, healing after abuse, healing after betrayal, healing after tragedy, overcoming hardship, overcoming tragedy

Each day is a new day…don’t panic. If today happens to be one that is filled with constant anxiety attacks, take care of ONLY what is absolutely needed (aka: KIDS or WORK) and once what is ONLY absolutely imperative is taken care of then take off your shoes, sit down and BREATHE.

http://www.shannonmdeitz.com/just-show-up-dont-panic-healing-day-2/image-499

http://www.shannonmdeitz.com/just-show-up-dont-panic-healing-day-2/image-500

Pray if you can. Nothing more than saying Jesus’ name.
Today I ran away. Well, not officially but I did get to last minute ask a fried who has a beach house in Galveston if I could use it for some R & R.

http://www.shannonmdeitz.com/just-show-up-dont-panic-healing-day-2/image-498

The crash of the waves is a lullaby to my spirit. The vastness of the ocean reminds me how BIG this world is and that God, the creator of it ALL is IN CONTROL of little ole me.

So I went to THE SPOT, enjoyed a beverage and chilled.

http://www.shannonmdeitz.com/just-show-up-dont-panic-healing-day-2/image-497

This is my joy, these little things in life. The gift of a friend who offers a place of refuge, because let’s face it, sometimes we just need a break.

What is your joy today? Don’t panic … take a breath and remember who has you in His sights.
Blessings
Shannon

I’m Afraid for You (Guest Post)

Tags

abuse, Depression, domestic violence, domestic violence help, escape plan, poetry

**From the vault**

I feel prompted to share with you all this amazing poetry from Diana Rasmussen.  When I read this it grabbed me and I realize how often we might ‘turn the other cheek’ on our ‘neighbors.’  I think about the three women who were recently rescued in Cleveland, OH and wonder how many moments occurred among neighbors that something ‘just didn’t seem right’?

God gave us all a gift – intuition and instinct.  Don’t let these gifts go to waste.  Learn to trust these gifts – they could save your life or others.  There is also a wonderful Safety Plan at the end of this post.

Blessings

Shannon

I’M AFRAID FOR YOUShe lived in the trailer right across the street

not much of a neighbor she kept to herself

When the sun went down the fights would start

noises travel in a trailer park

I went over one day with cookies in hand

saw the fear in her eyes

said I’m afraid for you

I heard what he called you last night

what he’s doing just isn’t right

My door’s always open anytime day or night

I’m afraid for you

That night he came home smelled something amiss

he started screaming and yelling

I heard punching fists

Afraid for my friend I called 911

it was time for this to be done

I’m afraid for you

I heard what he called you last night

what he’s doing just isn’t right

My door’s always open anytime day or night

I’m afraid for you

She stood in the driveway

blood on her white gown

cops took him away

when I said I’m afraid for you

I heard what he called you last night

what he’s doing just isn’t right

My door’s always open

anytime day or night

I’m afraid for you

Part of Diana’s Story:

“I have lived in abuse, years upon years, relationship upon relationship. I have been married – more than once, and I have been divorced – more than once, to abusive men. I have been to the shelters, time and again. I have had restraining orders, had them broken, and called the police again. I have been to court more times that I can count. I have fought for my children and their rights for child support. I had had 3 suicide attempts and thank you Lord, I did not succeed. I have been to the Mental Health Ward – more than once. I have gone to the counselors, taken the “happy pills” and lived in ‘la-la land” for months at a time. I have been treated for depression and at one time in my life, I did not get out of bed for 6 months.

I have laughed, I have cried, I have believed, and I have doubted. But through it all, God has been faithful. He has made a way for me and my children where there was no way. He has protected me and my children supernaturally, more than once. He has provided for us faithfully – oh the stories I could tell! He has restored my peace of mind. I am no longer taking any ‘happy pills’! I do not hear “the voices” in my head that used to scream things at me, or whisper and laugh at me.

I do not live in the land of shame and guilt anymore, I have changed addresses!

I am not that same person. I have lived free from fear and abuse for the last 8 years, and today I can say, because of Christ – I am free!

Thank you Jesus!

A few years back God even blessed me with a Godly husband, one who encourages and supports me.  We play praise music together every week at Church.  It is rather healthy I have ot say and I am forever grateful.  But I had to learn what healthy relationships were and to establish boundaries in my life.

Today, I do not live in fear. Today I am not a victim of abuse, I am a beloved daughter of the King. I am life that God touched, rescued, and changed. I know that God exists, He saved my soul from the pit,  He protected me and my children and I know He will do it for you too!”

Diana’s Bio 

Diana Rasmussen is a Music Minister, Blogger, Poetess, and Recording Artist who uses her gifts to shed light on the darkness of Domestic Violence. At the beginning of this year, God asked her to ‘quit playing Church’ and start to testify about what He had delivered her from. That was the beginning of Prayers and Promises.

Diana Rasmussen is a Soul Survivor, as many of you are too. Her songs focus on overcoming adversity, breaking free from domestic violence, and living beyond depression. Fans have called her songs, “haunting, powerful, and edgy”. Diana sounds like Annie Lennox and Bonnie Raitt, and there is a raw honesty about her lyrics. Diana has many TOP 10 AWARDS from Broadjam, Inc. in the Country, Folk, Jazz, and World Categories.

Currently Diana leads the Worship Team at Janesville Apostolic Ministries in Janesville, WI. She has been blessed to play with her husband Bob, and sing with many Anointed Singers. Diana has been a Music Minister for the last 20years in various churches, shelters, nursing homes, and community meals in the southern Wisconsin area.

To learn more about Diana go to her website:  http://dianarasmussen.com/

SAFETY PLAN

Challenge Yourself Update! (Sometimes It Takes Being True to Ourselves)

Tags

body for life, challenge, Depression, fitness, healing, health, overcoming depression, overcoming suffering, personal challenge, psalm 27

Last I updated on this challenge I had sunk into a bit of a depression. Funny that we can say that ‘bit of a depression’. Why can’t we just say, “I was depressed.”

The problem was I couldn’t explain ‘WHY‘. I felt that everything in my life was in place. I could still have moments of being ‘up beat’ and I certainly didn’t feel like I was being negative about life nor did it prevent me from helping others try to see the positive in their circumstances.

It was sometime in July that I began to slide down the slippery slope of depression. Instead of allowing it to consume me it was more like trying to conquer a three-way battle between my mind, my body, and my heart.

My mind was fine. I wasn’t thinking negative thoughts or falling into a ‘woes me, life is unbearable’ montage on a daily basis.

My body was heavy. Not so much with weight but with feeling. I would get up in the morning to do my workout and though I could get up and out of bed it took a great amount of effort to lift a weight or walk the block. There were days I felt like I just wanted to sleep all day because my body felt as if it had been up for days on end. And the tears. Oh the tears wouldn’t stop. I didn’t know why they would begin. I’d be in the most ridiculous situation (ie: in a drive thru with my son getting Bahama Buck snow cones) and the tears would start to flow.

I thought for sure my hormones were going nuts. Maybe this is what 41 looks like? Nope. That wasn’t the case. I saw my GYN and she took blood…I am perfectly healthy. Interestingly enough by the time I got into my GYN I was already beginning to feel better. In fact, I felt a little foolish for being in her office but knew I didn’t want a reoccurrence.

My heart was troubled. I couldn’t put my finger on it but something wasn’t right. I would have mini-anxiety attacks which always happens before something major is about to go down in my life. I even journaled about this one night in adoration, praying that God would give me the strength to endure whatever ‘it’ was.

And none of it made sense.

Till now. It’s good to know I’m not crazy. It’s good to know we should be in tune to our instincts. It’s good to trust that God has our back in every given moment, even when nothing makes sense. And I find that the connection we have to those we love is more spiritually connected than we realize.

As I blogged a few days ago, I’m not depressed any more. I’m WIDE AWAKE. I thank God for this situation that has unfolded because it brings forth growth, maturity, wisdom, understanding, and love.

An even BIGGER blessing is going on this trip to the Holy Land with my mom. Not a ‘coincidence’ that it comes at this very moment. A time when I need to be ‘renewed’ in the spirit, strengthened by His word and what better way to fall deeper in love with God than to be on actual Holy ground?

Here is a ‘word’ I received this morning…actually it was more of Psalm 27 than just the first verse. If you have a moment take time to read more…it helps in time of discourse:

We fly to Tel Aviv tonight and will be in Jerusalem tomorrow. I will see what I can do about blogging while I’m gone but rest assured I will be taking pictures and notes to blog about it when I get back if it’s not doable. In the meantime I posted some articles on Domestic Violence since this is Domestic Violence Awareness month.

As for what ‘it’ is in regards to what I’m going through – I’ll only say this – we are all susceptible to fall and we are all worthy of redemption. Remember that when you find yourself having been hurt by another or guilty of hurting another. Time – it is healing.

Blessings

Shannon

Happiness is a choice.

Tags

About Time, About Time review, being happy, Depression, finding happiness, finding joy, Happy Song, overcoming abuse, quality time with kids

Friday night I was blessed with an unexpected down moment to spend some quality time with my kids. Ryan (16) hung with me for as long as he could stand it and went to ‘chill out’ and decompress. Seth popped in the movie we had in from Netflix called “About Time” and before we knew it he and I were having a sincere discussion about what makes us ‘happy’.

Time means a lot to Seth. Time in every aspect. How much we spend, how much we have, when we run out. Seth appreciates time as a precious and valuable commodity. Often I have to be conscious about this fact for Seth because clearly his main ‘love language’ is quality time. Time makes Seth happy.

Unbeknownst to me Seth has been writing quotes as they come to him and he shared this one with me the other day:

 

LIVE this day and be ‘done with it’ because tomorrow is a new day. Love him.

Little did we know the movie we were about to watch would demonstrate this philosophy. About Time is about this family that has a peculiar gift, they can travel back in time. They can’t go forward and they can’t go somewhere they haven’t been but they can go back and have a ‘redo’. The ‘take away’ from this film is that it is UP TO YOU to enjoy your life…one day at a time.

Take a moment and watch the movie trailer:

Sure there are days we choose to be sad, upset, angry or just melancholy…sometimes we need to let the emotion have its course…but the fair warning is if you allow yourself to stay in that state it will begin to erode your spirit and block out the light of the joy that God provides every day.

What God has created to amplify our happiness is constant. The moon, the sun, the mountains, the beach, a child’s smile, etc. It is our choice to see it, embrace it.

No one can ‘make you happy’. No thing can ‘make you happy’. Only YOU can make YOU happy.

Something that makes me happy is music and dancing. Since I was a young girl (as early as 3 years old) I would rock in a rocking chair and sing my own music as I rocked. Later Friday night videos came out and I would rock as I watched the videos…letting my mind go and imagination take over as the lyrics and beat took me to new places and adventures that only an imagination can bring. Later someone invented the Walkman and this took me through my teen years into high school where I learned to ‘escape’ in music.

I rocked into my young years as a mother, alone, without a baby in my hands to relieve stress. I let the music take me as I zoned out and let it go.

It’s been years since I’ve rocked in a rocking chair. But music has not ceased to be a consolation. If I realize I need to find my ‘happy place’ I put on music I know will redirect my thoughts and remind me that this life is so short. Why waste it being upset and down?

This quick (only 1 minute) dance instruction for Pharrell’s “HAPPY” song makes me smile on this Monday. I’m going to learn this dance!

I pray your Monday is HAPPY!

Blessings

Shannon

Cleaning House – (There is no other way but one day at a time! ;) )

Tags

Depression, getting organized, getting out of a funk, inspiration, one day at a time, organization

Ha! I’m sure Neal’s interested in this post. Too bad I don’t mean literally. Shah, right…

In the four days I’ve been home I have been inundated with tasks. The mother-ly kind. The minister-ly kind. The business-ly kind. And the friend-ly kind.

Though I hate to refer to being a mother as a ‘task’,  it is not a task to love my boys. It is a task to be their taxi driver.

You see what I mean? I enjoy being a mother. I embrace my call as a minister and am blessed by it. My friends bring me life and laughter. The ‘busYness’ aspect of what I need to do in my days …. not so much.

For some reason over these past few weeks I’ve gotten a bug to achieve a few more things – like learning Spanish. Ha! Don’t laugh…I’m going to try. I want to sit down at least two days a week for at least an hour and treat it as a class. Knowing Spanish will help me in so many ways.

Before I got this idea I also signed up for a class in dealing with Non-profits. I figured I needed to know more about what the heck I’m doing on that ‘business…busyness’ end of things. It’s online and only a 25 day course…one I can do at my leisure. Right now I have 14 days of ‘classes’ in my email glaring at me to begin.

To top it off I received an email from my agent letting me know that I could have an ‘in’ with one of the TOP (yes TOP I mean…T O P) publishing houses if I write a particular book. It wouldn’t be a ‘done deal’. They believe I would be a good ‘fit’ to write this particular book and so they said send them a pitch. A pitch consists of a concept, chapter outline, sample chapters, etc. IF…IF…IF they like the pitch then I’d be ‘in’.

You’d think I’d be pushing everything else aside to clamber at this opportunity to possibly get an ‘in’ with this publisher. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to blow it off but this is new to me. First I’ve only written about my own experiences. Second the books I’ve written that have yet to be published have come from a ‘spark’ within. I receive the idea and I pray about it. I won’t write it unless I feel God is directing the show.

So now I have to go backwards. Look at this concept they are giving me and see if God will ‘enlighten’ me on what should be written. We’ll see…I’m praying about it.

In order to embrace these developments…I feel a great need to ‘clean house’. Get myself in gear. Get organized and back on track.

Have you ever gotten lazy or so overwhelmed you pile things on top of one another secretly wishing they’ll disappear in the stack or somehow someone else will come in and do it for you?

Newsflash (at least it’s my newsflash) it’s apparently not going to happen. I don’t care how many crazy things I’ve seen in this world I know I’m going to have to be the one to do my own work.

How? One step at a time. One item at a time. One task at a time.

Brings me to something funny I heard someone say when they hear another person comment that they are ‘getting by one day at a time’. How else can we get by? We can’t rush ahead one week or one month at a time. The only way we can physically, mentally and emotionally be is by living literally one day at a time.

So isn’t it apropos that the only way to get ourselves out of a funk or back on track is to simply begin by doing one thing at a time?

And in the words of a beloved radio host, Laura Schlessigner, – Now go take on the day!

Blessings

Shannon