• A Survivor’s Story (About Shannon)
  • About Hopeful Hearts Ministry
  • BOOK (EXPOSED)
  • I Have a Voice (Videos) & Interviews
  • Your Voice (Contact Me)

Just Show Up

~ An Abuse Survivor's Daily Rendering of God Showing Up In Her Life, How She Might Show Up or How She Misses the Mark

Just Show Up

Tag Archives: Child Abuse Awareness

Child Abuse Article (Healing in Prevention)

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Child Abuse Awareness, Child Abuse Prevention, daily parent eMag, healing after child abuse, preventing child abuse

We are nearing the end of Child Abuse Prevention month and Sexual Assault Awareness. I had the honor of being a part of an important article written in The Daily Parent eMagazine.

Please check it out here:  Child Abuse Victims Speak Out!

This month has been full of blessings and I am currently still knee deep in painting but we should be finished today!

image More pictures and progress to come soon!

Grateful always for all of your support.

Blessings

Shannon

Survivor’s story – Survived to Tell (Healing from the past)

27 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

child abuse, Child Abuse Awareness, Child Abuse Prevention, Faith, healing after abuse, healing from past abuse, overcoming past abuse, survivors

Today I am going to feature another Survivor Story in response to Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention Month.  This young woman contacted me a few years back and I’ve had the privilege of ‘witnessing’ her growth and healing journey through email updates and such over the years.  Her story is one of resilience and will encourage others, whether or not they are survivors, that there are no limits to what God can do.

As a young girl I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I was told I would not be as smart or as successful as my peers and I would never go to college. When you are told this enough you begin to believe it. At 12 I moved from the town that I was raised in to Connecticut. I had to leave my former life behind and start in a new school in the 7th grade. I was bullied very badly by my peers to the point of physical assaults. The Principal told me and my parents that I should ignore what was happening. Plus there were issues an administrator which also made life difficult. The two years in which I spent time at that middle school did a number on my self esteem, self confidence, especially my self-worth.

September 17th, 1999 I was 14 and a few weeks into my freshman year of high school. My friend invited me over to her home one day after a 1/2 day of school. I agreed to come over as long as her father wouldn’t be home. I insisted on this because seven months earlier at her birthday party in March her father attempted to assault me. With my friend as his helper, this man molested and held me captive both in their van and home for over 6 hours. I was threatened with my life before being released.

At 15 I ended up in violent relationship for two years with constant verbal, emotional, mental, psychological abuse and control by my boyfriend. I finally broke up after he screamed at me for attending my Grandfather’s funeral instead of being at his school sports match. During this time I worked as a nanny for two children where the father was an alcoholic. I cleaned up after him and to take care of the children. There was infidelity on both sides. I found out about his affair, which I helped hide. Both of them were verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive toward me. The father on a couple of occasions was physically abusive toward me. I was conditioned over the years to accept what was going on as normal. I had no boundaries, no self-worth, or self-confidence. I was an angry teenager who turned the anger inward. I ate to cope which turned into binge eating and became very overweight. I cut my own hair and self harmed in other ways (pulling out eyelashes, picking off my nails or scabs until I bled, digging my nails into my arms until I bled). I dressed in baggy clothes, withdrew from friends and activities, and went through the motions of my Catholic faith but did not feel an emotional connection to God.

I blamed God.

My saving grace was a man and woman who became like second parents. I met them when I was 17 through Jill’s mom Linda (My Meme). I worked for Jill and Mason taking care of their 3 daughters Meredith, Paige and Claire. We bonded and I became a part of the family. Life improving and I felt God bring me out of the pit of Hell. After one failed attempt at college right after school Jill found the Anna Maria College for me in late 2004. I applied and was accepted and began at Anna Maria College as a 20 year old freshman. Anna Maria was a God send. The college would become a therapeutic rehabilitation facility for me. I began counseling with Patty while I was in college and with her help became free and clear of my abusive ex boyfriend completely.

During this time I was offered a volunteer intern position with the Molly Bish Center and began traveling conducting Child ID Kit Programs and speaking on child/teen safety. Through interning at The Molly Bish Center I slowly found my voice again and began to use it (appropriately) which ignited a passion for Child Advocacy work so I switched my major from Education to Social Work. I thrived in the Social Work program which gave me the opportunity to do an internship with the Sexual Assault/Rape Crisis Center of Central Massachusetts, now named Pathways for Change and focus on the Outreach/Education/Advocacy department. I planned, coordinated and ran community events such as the Clothesline Project and The Taking Steps To End Violence Against Women and Children 5k Walk. Being a community activist gave me the opportunity to strengthen my voice.

The stronger my voice became the stronger I became and the more intense my passion and my purpose. Knowing that I was making a difference in the world helped me to heal. With the guidance, love, and support of my social work professors, the counseling center and the Molly Bish Center I received the therapy and other services that I desperately needed. Attending Anna Maria College also brought me back to my faith and I often would go to the Chapel for hour to pray. Choosing to do my internship at the Anna Maria College and the Molly Bish Child Advocacy Center have been the biggest blessings in my life.

I graduated in 2009 with my Bachelors degree in Social Work with a concentration in Outreach/Education/Advocacy. I will graduate in May 2013 with my Masters Certificate in Victim Studies/ Victim Advocacy. Having opportunities to help prevent others from going through what I went through has been the greatest blessing and what has helped me to heal.

Rachel - Survivor

Thank you, Rachel, for your courage and strength and for being a VOICE for others!

Blessings

Shannon

Exposed_cover_only

Martha’s Journey “Overcoming” (Healing from Emotional and Physical Abuse)

20 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

abuse, Child Abuse Awareness, child abuse effects, Child Abuse Prevention Month, healing, healing after abuse, overcoming child abuse

Hopeful Hearts Ministry officially has a headquarters! It is amazing to me the support we are receiving and the generosity of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. One local furniture store owner (he would rather not be recognized as he wants to give all glory to God) sat down with Neal and I for two hours. He wanted to hear my story and how Hopeful Hearts began…and he shared his story with us. In the end he donated more than I would have ever imagined.

Such a blessing.

I will take pictures as it transforms from a work in progress to a place of HOPE and HEALING.

I will be working diligently to get this space where survivors will feel welcomed, comforted and supported. It is YOUR SPACE. :)

We are nearing the end of April and I wanted to make sure I continue to highlight the importance of Child Abuse Awareness and Sexual Assault Prevention. Below is a story I featured last year but worth sharing.

It is an amazing story of courage and strength. One to offer hope to all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was 11 when it happened my dad got a new, very stressful job and started emotionally and physically abusing me.  Both of my parents are survivors of physical and emotional abuse, and when this happened, it started a new cycle of physical and emotional abuse for me and my brother.  It was awful, but when I was 18, my family and I came to know the Lord and through a series of events the abuse stopped.  At this point, I thought, “Great, now I can be normal.”  But as I went through college, I realized that there were many things “broken” inside of me, and I was very much not “normal”.  So, when I was 22 and 23 I went through intensive counseling, as did my father- each of us separately with different counselors.  The counseling helped a lot, but counseling is hard.  It is hard to bring up painful memories, work them out, while continually acknowledging what is broken, how it makes you feel, why it makes you feel that way, and what the next step is in healing.  After 2 years of counseling, I thought ok, I’m better and I’m past this, so I stopped counseling and so did my dad.  We wanted to desperately to be a normal, happy family.

courtesy of livelaughrowe.com

For the next 8 years, my dad had stopped hitting us but, because of his hurts from his past, continued to have very volatile emotions.  But, our family was tired, tired of hurting, tired of the process of healing, and desperate for “normalcy”, so instead of addressing the continuing hurt, we stuffed it down and walked on eggshells around my dad.  I stuffed down every hurt and feeling of anger for fear of aggravating the volatile man he can be until there was no more room to stuff.  And then something amazing happened- I found my voice!  I confronted him about the volatility, the negative emotions, the effect his abuse has had on me, and the fact that I needed him to acknowledge how much he hurt me and to say sorry.  It was an awful discussion that has led to some really awesome growth in my family- including the fact that my brother (for the first time) has become involved in the discussion.  Our family has started individual and family counseling- but this time we are working on it together.  It has brought a new level of healing with all of the hurt, happiness, difficulties, and closeness that this brings.

All of this occurring has taught me that healing is not something that happens once and then is done.  Unfortunately abuse has consequences and reactions- it has left its mark on my heart as well as my family member’s hearts.  romans overcome verseWe have triggers, flashbacks, hard moments, sad moments, and abnormal reactions to “normal” situations.  I will never be “normal” in that sense because I will always be a survivor of abuse.  But, I have also learned that if at each moment I make the choice to acknowledge the feelings, reaction, and flashbacks, take these to God, my counselor, and my dear friends and family, process it, and learn from it, it takes me one step farther in the process of healing.  It takes me one step closer to knowing what it is to be less broken.

So I’ll end with this- a prayer- for the Lord is faithful and never leaves us or forsakes us, even in our hardest moments upon the path of healing.

Dear Lord, thank you for being faithful upon every step of this journey of healing.  Please continue to put all of the pieces of my heart back together.  Please shine your light upon all of the dark places of my heart.  Please give me the courage to face what I need to face.  Amen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, “Martha”, for sharing your story and journey with us.  It is in sharing our stories that we not only help in our own healing but help others to know they are not alone and courage to carry on with God. If YOU have a story you would like to share please email me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com

Blessings

Shannon

Exposed_cover_onlyEXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him is available on KINDLE for only $1.99! Get your copy today and share it with friends.

<!–

–>

Shining the Light of Healing into the Darkness of Abuse

14 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

$1.99 books on Kindle, Child Abuse Awareness, Child Abuse Prevention, EXPOSED, healing, Jo Bailey Frazier, Kindle books, Light of Healing

The season of Easter is proving to be truly redemptive and glorious for me! I have been busy setting up my shingle…do you recall the post I did a few years ago wishing to have a place to ‘set up shop’ and offer a place for survivors to visit, decompress, be empowered and rejuvenate in hope and healing? Well it is happening!!!! :D

At the end of this week Hopeful Hearts Ministry is moving into actual office space!! Once I get it all prepared and set up I will offer more information and specifics but till then  I AM ON CLOUD NINE!! Praise God!

Exposed_cover_onlyAlso, as of last night I FINALLY uploaded EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him on Kindle! I have not had the ‘rights’ to my eBook for a few years and now that I do I decided to offer it again and at a VERY LOW PRICE of $1.99. I will even have some promotional posts that I will give copy’s away FREE. I simply want it to be available to everyone. And I believe if you bought a print version of EXPOSED through Kindle they will offer you a Kindle version for $.99.  So spread the word and check it out!!

Finally, during this month of Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention I have been sharing YOUR STORIES to offer a VOICE to the real issue of abuse. On the Hopeful Hearts Ministry FB page we are sharing I Have a Voice Videos daily and other inspiring messages so be sure to LIKE US!

One woman wrote in and shared her very powerful personal story with us. Her name is Jo Bailey Frazier and she has her own ministry, blog, and website. Be sure to check her out:  www.JoBaileyFrazier.com 

For today’s personal story please consider taking the very short time to watch Jo’s brave story of survival and healing. It touched me greatly and I am certain it will help encourage those of you who have suffered some of the same abuses to be faithful and never give up.

Hold onto God’s promises because HE never gives up on you.

Blessings

Shannon

Fighting Back – Kaitlyn’s Story

09 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

child abuse, Child Abuse Awareness, child sexual abuse, Faith, healing, healing after abuse, hope, inspiration, romans 8:38, spiritual, spiritual warfare

*Reposted from last year*

Kaitlyn reached out to me when I posted that I wanted YOUR STORIES and asked if I was serious.  ABSOLUTELY I’m serious!  2014 is about YOU having YOUR VOICE in order to give others HOPE.  I know it takes a LOT to not only have a voice but to also put it out there to share with the world.  Which makes sharing her story, and any others I have coming soon, that much more precious to me.  It takes courage and I am so proud to have this opportunity to share with you Kaitlyn’s story.

Side note, another exciting aspect of sharing her story is having her share with me that she heard me speak to her high school almost five years ago!  To know that she is still encouraged to follow along my journey is humbling.  SHOW HER SOME LOVE and let her know how amazing she is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KaitlynThey say that one moment can change your life forever, and it is true. When I was four years old I was molested by my mom’s friend’s son, and that moment changed my life forever. I didn’t know exactly what it meant at the time, but I did feel that it was something I couldn’t share with anyone, and I didn’t for a long time. For about seven years I kept silent and did horrible, unhealthy things to my body as some way to cope with the memory.  The more I reached the reality of it all, the more tempting it was to do these things to myself. I finally stopped these behaviors in the eighth grade. These actions made me completely hate myself. I confessed these sins and vowed to never practice them again. This left freedom, but also a great emptiness in my life. Actions that I had used to define me did not exist anymore. Things went downhill for a few years. I got little to no sleep, tossing and turning from flashbacks and racing thoughts. I became severely depressed and my only temporary escape was the few moments that I would have completely alone and to myself, where I would cry hysterically until I had nothing left.

It was when I was a sophomore in high school when I had said enough was enough. In the privacy of confession, I confronted my high school chaplain. I felt vulnerable and ashamed, but I needed help. I needed to really cope with the event, and forgive myself for the effects. The first meeting with him outside of the confessional was one of the hardest. I had to recount every horrible detail to him. I hardly knew this priest, and I was letting him in on every pitiful detail of my life. He coincided with a Catholic psychologist whom I could only meet with once without parental consent. The thing was is my parents didn’t know anything. My progress came to a halt as my next step was to tell them and that petrified me. I will never forget the day that my mom, dad, and I sat in Father’s office. This was one of my hardest moments in life. I couldn’t speak or look at them. Father had to take over the meeting as I was frozen in fear. They were about to know everything.  Afterwards, a huge weight was lifted, and we hugged in the high school hallway and cried. They had no idea; they couldn’t believe it.  It was the first time that I had seen my dad cry, and the first time my parents had a taste of the inner torment I had hidden from them for 12 years. Things at home changed drastically. My parents had a daughter who was hurting, and they did all they could to show love and support.

Problems worthy of attack are worth fighting back

After this meeting, I met with Father and the psychologist on a regular basis. We even pulled in my family physician. I needed healing, forgiveness, love, courage, and faith and I was getting it medically, psychologically, and spiritually. I wanted to attack this dark cloud from all angles. The journey over the next few years was a roller coaster; good times and bad. The spring of my freshman year of college though, things got really bad. I don’t know if it was the new environment that triggered it, but I was falling apart. I doubted God’s love and mercy; there was such a distance. I would look up to the skies and say, “How dare you to have allowed this to happen to me. Why Lord?”  I had uncontrollable thoughts and dreams that I felt even the devil himself would have been ashamed of. They tormented me; involved those I loved most. I woke up disgusted with myself. The dreams were so vivid and real that it felt like I had actually done these actions; I felt the guilt of them. I knew these things tormenting my brain were not of me. They killed me inside. It was at this time that it was decided the next step would be an exorcism for the relief of an obsession. I received the right of exorcism over six times. After the first series, I had never felt so free. God gave me two days of complete freedom; I got to enjoy the Kaitlyn without all of the baggage, the sin, the guilt, the hurt. It was pure bliss. But it ended, and there were more sessions to come. It was just this year that the sessions ended and the darkness of evil had completely lifted.

Romans 8-38,39_001

Where I sit now is tough. I have forgiven my molester and am just sort of sitting still for a while. I am being allowed to just be; not going backward and slowly moving forward I still have my struggles, and still have my therapies, but I am such a better person, a different person, a stronger person than I was 16 years ago. There is emptiness where my past was, and my job now, what I am fighting for now, is to fill it with God’s love. I was encouraged by my spiritual director (my former high school chaplain) to envision a white space, an empty pure space, where I ask God to enter and reside. It is a calm meditation for still such a busy mind. I need to completely let go and let God in. I don’t have to do this by myself. I am not defined by this. I have a voice. There is a reason for this journey.

Now I am putting my energy into something much more positive. I have one more year of undergrad, and then I plan to attend medical school. Nothing gets me more excited or my heart more on fire than the thought of helping people through faith and medicine.  I have so much support from my family, and those who have helped me on this journey. God is so good!

*~Kaitlyn is the oldest of seven children from Bismarck, ND. She is currently a junior at the University of Mary where she plans to graduate with a major in biology (pre-med concentration), as well as a minor in Catholic studies and chemistry. She hopes to attend medical school following graduation. Aside from school she likes being outside, traveling, photography, dancing, being with family, and playing with her pet cat, dog, and sugar glider.~*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, Kaitlyn, for sharing your story.

If YOU have a story you would like to share please contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com.

Show Kaitlyn some LOVE and leave her a comment below!

Blessings

Shannon

Abusers – They Don’t Look Like Monsters

08 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

child abuse, Child Abuse Awareness, child molestors, CSA, predators, Stephen Collins, wolf in sheep's clothing

*Reblogged from 2014*

It was early in the morning and I went to pull my car out of the garage when I heard the morning DJ’s talking on the radio about this ‘monster’. It wasn’t my usual Christian radio station, one of my son’s had been flipping stations the night before, so I was about to turn it when I heard them say, “Can you imagine? They have him on tape admitting he molested young girls.”

My hand froze on the knob. Who?

Then I heard a recording of a man’s voice discussing how he ‘looked’ at young girls. Then a woman’s voice is heard sounding shocked and mortified. She said something like ‘You looked at a ten year old little girl?’

He corrected her. ‘No, they were 11, 12 and 13.’ He then continues admitting to the fact it wasn’t just ‘looking’.

The DJ’s stop the recording there and discuss the behavior of this man so casually explaining to his wife that he was a pedophile.

WHO? I’m wanting to yell at the DJ’s to tell me again who it is they could be talking about. Not that it really mattered but I wanted to know.

Finally, they recap and let us in that the night before the news broke that actor Stephen Collins, most known for his role as the preacher and beloved father on 7th Heaven, is accused of ‘allegedly’ molesting three minors. Read more here.

The conversation that followed is what struck the biggest chord with me. The producer of the radio program and the two DJ’s were astonished that this well-liked, good-looking, successful actor could be such a monster.

I turned them off and went inside to look up Stephen Collins on-line. I personally couldn’t place him by name but recognized him immediately when I saw his picture.

Great smile. Nice looking. Kind of guy that would make you feel comfortable and secure, even safe.

wolf in sheeps clothing

My grandpa had the same smile. He exuded the same aura of comfort and safety. An every man’s man. Well-loved and served many in his life.

Neither look menacing, ugly, demented, warped, crazy, or threatening.

Their exterior does not reflect the interior.

This is true for abusers of any sex, race, or stature. And for any type of abuser (domestic, physical, sexual, emotional, pedophile, etc.)

Regardless, I knew one thing for sure, I was happy that the information ‘leaked’ out because the more opportunity we have to ‘open this up for discussion’ and bring awareness to the facts of what abuse really looks like then the better chance we have at ending the epidemic. The important lesson to learn from this is to be vigilant in talking to your kids about what abuse is and that every one, even mommy and daddy, need to respect them mind, body and spirit.

And just because a husband or wife is ‘good-looking’ or ‘wealthy’ or ‘likeable’ doesn’t mean they should get away with abusive behavior to their family.

Inform and be informed.

Blessings

Shannon

Pedophiles & Abusers in General – They Don’t Look Like Monsters

08 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

child abuse, Child Abuse Awareness, child molestors, CSA, predators, Stephen Collins, wolf in sheep's clothing

It was early in the morning and I went to pull my car out of the garage when I heard the morning DJ’s talking on the radio about this ‘monster’. It wasn’t my usual Christian radio station, one of my son’s had been flipping stations the night before, so I was about to turn it when I heard them say, “Can you imagine? They have him on tape admitting he molested young girls.”

My hand froze on the knob. Who?

Then I heard a recording of a man’s voice discussing how he ‘looked’ at young girls. Then a woman’s voice is heard sounding shocked and mortified. She said something like ‘You looked at a ten year old little girl?’

He corrected her. ‘No, they were 11, 12 and 13.’ He then continues admitting to the fact it wasn’t just ‘looking’.

The DJ’s stop the recording there and discuss the behavior of this man so casually explaining to his wife that he was a pedophile.

WHO? I’m wanting to yell at the DJ’s to tell me again who it is they could be talking about. Not that it really mattered but I wanted to know.

Finally, they recap and let us in that the night before the news broke that actor Stephen Collins, most known for his role as the preacher and beloved father on 7th Heaven, is accused of ‘allegedly’ molesting three minors. Read more here.

The conversation that followed is what struck the biggest chord with me. The producer of the radio program and the two DJ’s were astonished that this well-liked, good-looking, successful actor could be such a monster.

I turned them off and went inside to look up Stephen Collins on-line. I personally couldn’t place him by name but recognized him immediately when I saw his picture.

Great smile. Nice looking. Kind of guy that would make you feel comfortable and secure, even safe.

wolf in sheeps clothing

My grandpa had the same smile. He exuded the same aura of comfort and safety. An every man’s man. Well-loved and served many in his life.

Neither look menacing, ugly, demented, warped, crazy, or threatening.

Their exterior does not reflect the interior.

This is true for abusers of any sex, race, or stature. And for any type of abuser (domestic, physical, sexual, emotional, pedophile, etc.)

Regardless, I knew one thing for sure, I was happy that the information ‘leaked’ out because the more opportunity we have to ‘open this up for discussion’ and bring awareness to the facts of what abuse really looks like then the better chance we have at ending the epidemic. The important lesson to learn from this is to be vigilant in talking to your kids about what abuse is and that every one, even mommy and daddy, need to respect them mind, body and spirit.

And just because a husband or wife is ‘good-looking’ or ‘wealthy’ or ‘likeable’ doesn’t mean they should get away with abusive behavior to their family.

Inform and be informed.

Blessings

Shannon

 

Did I Lose the Opportunity to Be Loved?

11 Wednesday Jun 2014

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blogs, Child Abuse Awareness, child abuse survivor, Faith, healing, healing after abuse, incest survivor, Reality of Jenna

I am proud of Jenna.  A young woman I met a few years ago at a conference who later did our first I Have a Voice video and now is in her second year of college writing her own blog.

I want to share that blog with you today. I don’t want to paste it here because I want you to GO TO HER PAGE and ‘like’ her and follow her. She’s amazing.

Reality of Jenna

 

 

Blessings

Shannon

There is Life worth LIVING after abuse

01 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Child Abuse Awareness, child abuse stories, child abuse survivors, Dr. Henry Cloud, healing after abuse, inspirational, inspiring messages, life after abuse, multi tasking, staying focused

Here is another nugget of information I received while at the Catalyst convention last week. Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries for Leaders, stated:

“You will ‘get’ what you create and / or allow by creating the boundary  of focused attention.”

  • Attend to what is relevant
  • Inhibit everything else
  • Keep working memory  (keep what matters for you to create the boundary up front at all times)

focusedMake sense? No?…. example: Put down your phone! 😉 Make a boundary for when you are with family and friends to put the phone down. Now, with this example in mind, look at the bullet points.

Another nugget he gave is this: “Mulit-tasking is 100% a joke. You can’t. You multi-switch. Your brain can only do one thing at a time.”

I pray that helps you because it certainly showed up for me when I heard Dr. Cloud speak and today as I reread through my notes. Focused attention makes a difference.

What else makes a difference is how God SHOWS UP in our lives and how He showed up for Tara throughout her life. Be inspired today and watch her segment of inspirational messages:

 

Blessings

Shannon

Martha’s Journey (Overcoming Physical and Emotional Abuse)

25 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by hopefulheartsministry in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Child Abuse Awareness, child abuse effects, Child Abuse Prevention Month, healing, overcoming child abuse

This weekend I received many blessings in being with a group of beautiful women in the Longview, TX area. I presented the Awake My Soul presentation and by the grace of God I believe it was received well. Before I speak I ask God to guide and direct me on what He wants me to say. I have a deep bag of experiences I can use to explain or express a sentiment of what I’ve received from His word and He never fails to use exactly what they (the women) need to hear. There was one moment I shared something somewhat new and still fragile with me and thought out loud, “I don’t know why I shared this…” at the end of the day a woman came up to me and said, “I know why you shared what you did about your and your husband. Because I needed to hear it. Thank you.” :) (No, thank YOU God.)

Being that it is Child Abuse Prevention month I wanted to share with you all this story from “Martha” who sent this in to me last week. It is an amazing story of courage and strength. One to offer hope to all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was 11 when it happened my dad got a new, very stressful job and started emotionally and physically abusing me.  Both of my parents are survivors of physical and emotional abuse, and when this happened, it started a new cycle of physical and emotional abuse for me and my brother.  It was awful, but when I was 18, my family and I came to know the Lord and through a series of events the abuse stopped.  At this point, I thought, “Great, now I can be normal.”  But as I went through college, I realized that there were many things “broken” inside of me, and I was very much not “normal”.  So, when I was 22 and 23 I went through intensive counseling, as did my father- each of us separately with different counselors.  The counseling helped a lot, but counseling is hard.  It is hard to bring up painful memories, work them out, while continually acknowledging what is broken, how it makes you feel, why it makes you feel that way, and what the next step is in healing.  After 2 years of counseling, I thought ok, I’m better and I’m past this, so I stopped counseling and so did my dad.  We wanted to desperately to be a normal, happy family.

courtesy of livelaughrowe.com

For the next 8 years, my dad had stopped hitting us but, because of his hurts from his past, continued to have very volatile emotions.  But, our family was tired, tired of hurting, tired of the process of healing, and desperate for “normalcy”, so instead of addressing the continuing hurt, we stuffed it down and walked on eggshells around my dad.  I stuffed down every hurt and feeling of anger for fear of aggravating the volatile man he can be until there was no more room to stuff.  And then something amazing happened- I found my voice!  I confronted him about the volatility, the negative emotions, the effect his abuse has had on me, and the fact that I needed him to acknowledge how much he hurt me and to say sorry.  It was an awful discussion that has led to some really awesome growth in my family- including the fact that my brother (for the first time) has become involved in the discussion.  Our family has started individual and family counseling- but this time we are working on it together.  It has brought a new level of healing with all of the hurt, happiness, difficulties, and closeness that this brings.

All of this occurring has taught me that healing is not something that happens once and then is done.  Unfortunately abuse has consequences and reactions- it has left its mark on my heart as well as my family member’s hearts.  romans overcome verseWe have triggers, flashbacks, hard moments, sad moments, and abnormal reactions to “normal” situations.  I will never be “normal” in that sense because I will always be a survivor of abuse.  But, I have also learned that if at each moment I make the choice to acknowledge the feelings, reaction, and flashbacks, take these to God, my counselor, and my dear friends and family, process it, and learn from it, it takes me one step farther in the process of healing.  It takes me one step closer to knowing what it is to be less broken.

So I’ll end with this- a prayer- for the Lord is faithful and never leaves us or forsakes us, even in our hardest moments upon the path of healing.

Dear Lord, thank you for being faithful upon every step of this journey of healing.  Please continue to put all of the pieces of my heart back together.  Please shine your light upon all of the dark places of my heart.  Please give me the courage to face what I need to face.  Amen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, “Martha”, for sharing your story and journey with us. It is in sharing our stories that we not only help in our own healing but help others to know they are not alone and courage to carry on with God. If YOU have a story you would like to share please email me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com

Blessings

Shannon

← Older posts

Search the site

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,433 other followers

Hopeful Hearts Ministry

Hopeful Hearts Ministry

smdeitz Just Showing Up

No Instagram images were found.

Showing Up on Twitter

  • Sometimes we forget that we are not our parents or grandparents. God has given us our own path. We don't have to ke… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 weeks ago
  • Healing takes time. Recovery takes time. Getting stronger takes time. Your timing is yours. No one gets to rush you. https://t.co/YXiQwfoIir 2 weeks ago
  • Sometimes we just need to pause. It doesn't mean we have quit or given up. A pause can help us refocus, realign our… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 weeks ago
  • How have you seen truth in this statement? https://t.co/vbaF9ByhCA 1 month ago
  • My soul will never heal if I don't give it time to rest. We get caught up in the busyness of life and forget that w… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 month ago
Follow @shannondeitz

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Just Show Up
    • Join 2,433 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Just Show Up
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...