Leslie’s Journey – Day 3 Part 2 – Beauty in the Ashes

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abduction survivor speaks, abduction victim speaks out, abuse, Abuse survivors, healing, HEALING AFTER TRAUMA, overcoming tragedy, overcoming trauma, PTSD, PTSD Survivors

As Leslie and I hiked up the path that she had once been tied up and forced to hike up in healed boots, we kept looking ahead almost expecting this ghost of a boogeyman to pop out of nowhere. She kept saying, “It’s like a ghost town…or dream. Surreal to be here again.”

Then she stopped. “Oh my gosh!”

My head still caught in the ‘spookiness’ of the moment, my heart picked up pace quickly. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Look at that, it’s a sign.” She looked at me and I thought she might cry.

There in the middle of dirt, twigs, and burnt lumber from a past forest fire was a small spring bloom. Neither of us know what it is, very well could be a weed, but it didn’t matter. It was beauty in the ashes.

“I have to leave something here.” And she explained what she wanted to do. Now it was me who couldn’t stop the tears. I had her explain for you all:

 

Once she put the charm in it’s resting place we held hands and said a prayer for the other survivors that were with her for that horrific week, as well as for all survivors who are currently struggling to take their life back, and for those that have yet to go through the struggle, that they will know the warmth and comfort of God’s peace despite the horror of the situation.

Once this was done we started walking a bit more up the mountain and then we heard a rustle.

“I’m done,” she said. And we both booked it back down the path, laughing along the way. We weren’t scared but we weren’t stupid either.

We celebrated with lunch, shopping and later that evening a fantastic meal at the Twin Lakes Lodge with my parents, Tim & Judy McGraw, who had been gracious hosts the entire four days.

Who can resist a sheep dog hat? It’s the ‘in’ thing… 😉

Leslie, Tim, Shannon, and Judy. Thanks again Mom and Dad!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a successful trip and one I am honored to have been a part of with Leslie. I pray what you take from Leslie’s example is not so much shoving, stuffing, or ignoring your past, but about facing it, acknowledging it, and giving yourself credit for surviving it…and then move on to thrive.

Blessings

Shannon

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Leslie’s Journey Day 3 (Facing the Past and Taking it Back)

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abduction survivor speaks, abuse, Abuse survivors, healing after abuse, healing after ptsd, overcoming ptsd, overcoming terror, PTSD, ptsd survivor, story of an abduction survivor, survivor of terror

When God wants it to happen He makes the seas divide… sometimes the ‘God-incidences’ of our trip were simply amazing.

On Friday, Leslie and I planned to go for a drive through the Collegiate Mountains to see if we could just get an idea of where she was held for five days. Before we left, my dad sat down with her and a map of the area. At the same time a man working for my parents to fix up some things in the cabins overheard them talking and offered his assistance. He lived in the area for his entire life and new every back road, hiking trail, etc very well.

From what she described and could remember he pointed to an area of the Collegiate mountains that was only a 10 minute drive away from my parents place in Twin Lakes.

“From what I knew about the Collegiate Mountains, this is the only trail that does what you are telling me. It has to be right here that he took you.” He highlighted the area for us and later that morning we set off to see if it jogged any memory for Leslie.

I wish we had a dashboard camera… from her Day 1 & 2 video she talked about how she remember it being very barren of trees as they drove for awhile up the Collegiate Mountains and then he pulled off into a section of road that went into the trees.

Well, we found it. The spot. The very spot.

This is on the trail Leslie and the others were forced to hike up the mountain, with hands tied.

I’ll let her explain, in her own words, what she recalls.

 

Leslie reminisced about how she remembered actively putting this ‘into a box’ (quite literally, she hid the newspaper articles in a box) for decades because of one person, whom she loved, saying to her, ‘Weren’t you embarrassed?’ when she spoke of the ordeal.

This is a view looking up the trail that the abductor took the car and then bottomed it out… making them get out and hike up the rest of the way (Leslie with heeled boots and none of them were dressed for the cold weather)

Sometimes people can’t fathom such tragic and horrifying truths and they say things that can hinder someone’s growth. Most often not intentional, but still harmful. Leslie and I both agreed that we realize to those that have not had anything traumatic occur in their life it is difficult to accept as reality and when they have someone like us, that brings it close to home for them, it messes with their inner sense of safety so they will often say inappropriate things almost as a personal comfort.

Tomorrow I will share Leslie’s final reaction to meeting her past head one, what she chose to do to commemorate the moment, and how she feels today.

Blessings

Shannon

The Effects of Abuse are Universal (Healing ALL Hearts) *Plus FREE eBook Promotion*

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abuse, abuse awareness, Bullying, child abuse, domestic violence, domestic violence awarenes, Faith, healing, overcoming sexual assault, sexual assault, sexual assualt prevention, speaking out, universal effects of abuse

*This is a past blog I felt important to share again for Sexual Assault Prevention Month*  BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE SPECIAL BOOK PROMOTION (FREE!!!) AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST!!!

“Isn’t domestic violence different than having been raped? Don’t they experience different emotions and healing?” This was a question posed to me today at lunch.

Among abuse the ‘act’ perpetrated can be different: ie: physical violence, forced sexual contact, psychological mind play, verbal degrading, neglect, etc, however, the lasting effect of surviving any form of abuse is universal. The wound of feeling unworthy, shame and guilt is the same no matter what form of abuse created it.

The group I was with happened to be some ladies in the area that I’d never met with before and I was happy to have the question because in truth, I’m sure many people assume in helping one to heal it has to be separate. We focus on Domestic Violence separate from Date Rape, and yet, if it is the boyfriend or date doing the rape it is considered violence (domestic if they are dating)…and more often than not a young woman in a violent relationship or marriage that is being beaten, psychologically controlled and manipulated is also at some point in the relationship being raped by their boyfriend or spouse.

The verbal, mental and emotional abuse is often the underlying factor to nearly every form of abuse. Even with neglect…the lack of love, lack of care, lack of emotion and affirmation is verbal, and emotional abuse.

The effects of abuse last beyond the initial fist to cheek, push, slap, degrading comment, humiliation, or any moment of a forced sexual act or even innuendo. The effect is the insecurity that affects life-altering decisions. The effect is the lack of self-respect brought on by the guilt. The effect is the fear that is triggered by a word, touch, scent or situation.

The effect is same for a four year old American caucasian or black girl raped by their grandfather as it is for a four year old African caucasian or black girl raped by the militia. The effect is the same for a thirty year old hispanic woman beaten daily emotionally and physically by her husband as it is for an asian woman being demeaned and degraded, set aside by her husband. The effect is the same for a young boy molested by his next door neighbor as it is for a young boy being sold on the streets. Or a son beaten and verbally broken down into submission by his father as it is for boy excessively bullied at school.

The effects of abuse are universal which is why it is so important to spread the awareness of what it does to each of us. To get more and more survivors to talk about it and be heard so that generations to come can be aware, know the effects and how they affect a person, therefore empowering them to walk (or run) from a situation before it can take place…or in the least know to get help immediately if found in a similar situation.

Another woman asked, “How do you listen to so many stories every day especially when you are a survivor? Doesn’t it affect you negatively?”

The truth is this, hearing others stories and how they have lived through them and survived them first gives me continued hope and courage because sitting before me is a person who has lived through hell. They are still here and they are wanting to live. Second, the offense fuels the fire of my calling. To speak out, to help others speak out, to spread awareness and offer hope. And finally, I want nothing more than to see the person before me succeed in reclaiming their worth and take back their life. To not only survive but thrive beyond what was ‘done or said’
to them.

I left the lunch feeling a bit more invigorated and encouraged because by having to explain what I do it was as if God wanted me to hear what I needed to say.

If you have any questions about Hopeful Hearts Ministry or if you know of someone who could benefit from our ministry please do not hesitate to contact me at hopefulhearts333@gmail.com.

Blessings
Shannon

  *SPECIAL FREE BOOK PROMOTION*  Thursday – Monday EXPOSED will be on Kindle for FREE!!!

Redeemed – Ch. 20 “Until Death Do Us Part” & Epilogue

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abuse, child abuse, Faith, family, healing after abuse, healing after sexual assault, living with someone who once suffered abuse, marriage, marriage problems, multiple sclerosis, overcoming child abuse, overcoming ms, sexual assault

Our journey has come to an end. I want to thank each and every one of you that has stuck with me since January with Ch. 1 every Monday night! I know now (last least for me) why I felt God called me to share this story in this way before publishing it … I needed to focus on every gift, blessing, and lesson that each chapter of this time in my life provided.

When I wrote it over two years ago I was set on getting it out as I remembered. The chapters proved to be cathartic in the unfolding of what God has done in my life to date but it wasn’t until I suffered through 2015 and took a break from looking at it that I was able to see chapter by chapter a greater clarity of God’s hand not just holding me through the suffering but often gripping me by the hair and pulling me out of my own sin and shame.

In all that I am going through now I do so with a great confidence in my God. No that ‘things’ happen for a reason’, no I don’t like that statement…but that God brings GOOD from every thing. Even the ugliest choices we make.

If I can get my act together I hope to have a paperback and ebook version of REDEEMED by mid-summer to end of the summer.

Once again, thank you or the emails and comments in sharing your stories with me! Please continue to follow along the blog!

Redeemed Ch. 20 Blog Release

Redeemed Epilogue Blog Release

Click HERE to catch read all the chapters of Redeemed. They will only be available for a short time!

Blessings

Shannon

A few disclaimers:
**The author, Shannon M. Deitz, retains all rights to REDEEMED, no portion of this story can be used or sold without the author’s written permission.**

Before REDEEMED was to go to print it had not yet made the ‘copy-editing’ phase…please excuse any mistakes or grammatical errors.
Read the early part of Shannon’s healing journey in EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him. Available on Amazon, Audible, and only $1.99 on Kindle.
Buy your SIGNED COPY of Exposed at Jennika’s – A Bazaar Place at King’s Harbor

Stand Strong and Carry On

Tags

abuse, assault, empty nest, family, healing after abuse, jury trials, justice system, kids leaving home, overcoming abuse, parenting

Last week was a difficult one. It began with me taking Ryan on some university tours. They were great universities and it has encouraged Ryan as he ends his junior year, but for me it unearthed anxieties I never thought I’d have. My babies will be leaving the nest soon and I don’t like it :(.

Tuesday night Ryan came into the room and handed me a letter. He wrote it on his junior retreat in January. He conveniently failed to give it to us. It began with “Dear Neal and Shannon” and then went on to very sweetly talk about how much he loved us and that he knows he’ll be leaving soon and wants to make sure we spend more family time together.

Neal and Shannon? No more ‘mom and dad’? Leaving us?

‘www.off-the-merry-go-round.com’

My heart sped up and then seemed to come apart like a thousand heavy weights in my chest. When he goes away will he come back? I couldn’t help but think about the early years of his life when I wished and prayed for the ‘next stage’ hoping one day to be ‘free’ again. Tears fell warm on my cheeks. “I take it all back. I don’t want to be ‘Shannon’ I want to be ‘mom’,” I prayed. I heard my phone buzz on the nightstand.

It was a text from Ryan, “I love you so much Mom. I hope you always know that.”

“Always” I replied. “My love for you will never end and I’ll never stop being your mom!”

I didn’t picture myself as the parent crying over her child leaving the nest but here I was 14 months away from his graduation and I’m already a blubbering fool.

Thursday wrapped up the week with a full day in court. A survivor I’ve been helping asked me to accompany her to court…she was the state prosecution’s main witness in a class c assault charge against her soon to be ex-husband. He refused to pay the fine because he doesn’t want to have the assault charge on his record so for the past two months we’ve been called into court only to have the court date changed by his lawyers. However, Thursday was the day and he insisted on a jury by trial.

We were in court from 8am to 8:45pm when the jury finally came up with a verdict. I won’t go into specifics of the case, however, I will say it was one instance of many that led my friend to create a safe room in the house, receive gun training (after leaving the house), and keeping her location secret.

Unfortunately, the trial began with an all male jury. The prosecution had no other option as most of the women admitted to having been involved with a similar instance in their personal life, or could not be ‘partial’.

I won’t say what happened was because of an all male jury, however, with the soon to be ex-husband’s entourage of high-priced lawyers doing everything they could to tear her down and make her seem ‘dramatic’ it was not surprising to hold her hand and hear, “The jury finds —— not guilty.”

My heart fell. I squeezed her hand tighter, “You are strong and this makes no difference to what God has in store for your life.”

Yes, it’s unfair. No doubt. I remember when my rape case went to the grand jury and they notified him to come in and speak for himself but they did not notify me of the opportunity. I simply received a phone call saying my case was ‘no billed’. Unfair.

NO, I’m not happy with the justice system. Nope. Not all.

I cried on the way home. And then I felt God wrap me in His peace. “Carry on. You are doing what I’ve called you to do to spread the truth of abuse and spread awareness of it’s true effects. Never give up.”

This week I am meeting with Ryan’s drama group to talk about the truth on sexual assault. Thank you for your input and thoughts. I reached out and the drama teacher jumped at the opportunity for me to come in.

Never give up on what God is calling you to achieve in life.

Blessings

Shannon

Redeemed Ch. 8 & Ch. 9

Tags

abuse, birth control issues, catholic church and contraception, faith and family, healing after abuse, marriage, married to someone who has suffered abuse, motherhood, new mom, struggling moms, struggling with birth control in marriage

Yes, it’s an added gift! Two chapters! Be sure to click on them both. In editing Ch. 8 “A Taste of Heaven” I realized how important Ch. 9 “One Day At a Time” would be in the progression of what I was going through in that particular healing and merciful moment.

There is a great blessing added to the particular journey I went through in Ch. 9 but I realize I have to be patient and allow it to unfold in the progression that God allowed it to take place. So hang tight.

Once again, grateful to all of you for taking this journey with me. I always welcome your thoughts and comments.

Redeemed Ch. 8 Blog Release

REDEEMED Ch. 9 Blog Release

Blessings

Shannon

A few disclaimers:
**The author, Shannon M. Deitz, obtains all rights to REDEEMED, no portion of this story can be used or sold without the author’s written permission.**
Before REDEEMED was to go to print it had not yet made the ‘copy-editing’ phase…please excuse any mistakes or grammatical errors.

Read the early part of Shannon’s healing journey in EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him. Available on Amazon Audible, and only $1.99 on Kindle.

*NO MORE HARD COPIES WILL BE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON…WE HAVE SOLD OUT EXCEPT FOR WHAT I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION.*

 

Buy your SIGNED COPY of Exposed at Jennika’s – A Bazaar Place at King’s Harbor!

REDEEMED Ch. 7 – Change of Heart

Tags

abuse, christian help in relationship, Faith, faith in marriage, healing after abuse, intimacy issues, living with a spouse who's been through abuse in past, marriage, marriage counseling, marriage issues, redeemed, redemption, relationships

Remember this is a merciful year – a celebration of the mercy we receive from the Lord. Thank you for extending to me your merciful responses to these chapters. Instead of judgment I’m receiving understanding.

One reader wrote, “I am glad to know I am not alone.”

It’s mercy. We help one another get through the errors in our lives, our human’ness’, and we encourage one another to see what more God has intended for us.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Redeemed Ch. 7 Blog Release

Blessings

Shannon

A few disclaimers:
**The author, Shannon M. Deitz, obtains all rights to REDEEMED, no portion of this story can be used or sold without the author’s written permission.**
Before REDEEMED was to go to print it had not yet made the ‘copy-editing’ phase…please excuse any mistakes or grammatical errors.

Read the early part of Shannon’s healing journey in EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him. Available on Amazon Audible, and only $1.99 on Kindle.

*NO MORE HARD COPIES WILL BE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON…WE HAVE SOLD OUT EXCEPT FOR WHAT I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION.*

 

Buy your SIGNED COPY of Exposed at Jennika’s – A Bazaar Place at King’s Harbor!

REDEEMED Ch. 5 A Hardened Heart

Tags

abuse, books on marriage, healing after abuse, intimacy issues, living with a partner who's been abused, marriage, marriage issues, overcoming abuse, redeemed, Redeemed by Shannon M. Deitz, verbal abuse

Deeper into the journey of healing we go.

For those of you who can relate to past experiences of abuse in any form, it is my prayer that you receive with great hope that no matter where you are in this very moment on your journey, each day God gives you renewed strength, endurance, and the capability to overcome.

Many of my younger years as a wife and mother were held captive by displaced anger and depression. Reliving these chapters I can easily wish I knew then what I know now…but the only reason why I am who I am today is because of the journey getting to this point. And in twenty years when I’m sixty-two I’m certain I’ll feel the same looking back at my journals today.

REDEEMED Ch. 5 Blog Release

I’d love to hear from you, feel free to leave comments anonymously.

Blessings

Shannon

Neal, Ryan and I at my sister’s wedding.

Redeemed Ch. 4 – Sorrow & Rage

Tags

abuse, Abuse survivors, books on marriage, free book, healing after abuse, intimacy issues, issues in marriage, marriage, miscarriage, redeemed, shannon m. deitz, vanishing twin syndrome

Thank you for continuing this journey with me! I continue to get requests for the entire novel and I apologize for not offering it at this time in its complete form. I felt called in prayer to do it this way…it is helping me to digest it little by little myself as I release it to the world.

This weeks chapter of my life never fails to wield fresh tears.

Redeemed Ch. 4 Blog Release

Just now getting the chapters? Get caught up here and sign up for the blog so you don’t miss a chapter!

I’d love to hear from you!! Any and all comments (and they can be anonymous) are welcome.

Blessings

Shannon

Curious as to what the ‘early years’ were all about…get your copy of EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him for only $1.99 on your kindle. Also available in print and audio on Amazon.com

 

 

 

And if you live in the Houston area you can pick up a signed copy at Jennika’s on King’s Harbor in Kingwood!

Redeemed Ch. 3 – Won’t Get Me Down

Tags

abuse, Abuse survivors, book on line, book on marraige, free book, healing after abuse, intimacy issues, issues in marriage, marriage, redeemed, Rheumatoid Arthritis

Sorry I’m late on this for this site…it was released per my website blog but I failed to transfer it to this sight as well!

Did you know you can receive these chapters and all of the other blogs published this year directly in your email? Sign up for the Just Show Up Blog here.

Each chapter gets posted Monday night and will be in your inbox by Tuesday morning!

The comments, emails and texts have been encouraging and engaging. Keep it up! Ask any questions you might have as well…as you can tell, God’s led me to be open with my mistakes to show His grace and mercy in His gift of redemption. I’ll answer as best I can in truth.

Redeemed Ch. 3 Blog Release

I thought you might enjoy a few pictures from the era of what you’ve read to date.

Neal and I 21 years ago when we first met… a few weeks later.

 

Neal and I on our wedding day. 7/6/96
(Maria Goretti’s Feast Day btw… )

Blessings

Shannon

If you haven’t read the first memoir, EXPOSED, get it for only $1.99 on Kindle! Also available in paper back and audio. (If you live in the Kingwood area signed copies of EXPOSED are available at Jennika’s!)