The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
“Jesus, help me.” I knelt at the edge of my bed, my forehead pressed to the duvet, my hands pressed firmly against my eyes to block out tears that didn’t come. “Jesus, help me.”
“I have your heart.”
Within me I felt Christ me pull me into his embrace. I nestled my nose into the crook of his neck and breathed in His Spirit. My body sagged against the bed in surrender. “Help me,” my soul mumbled meekly into his sacrificed flesh.
“This will not last forever.”
It is safe to say I’m in a place I’ve never been before. I have survived quite a bit in my life and now I am being put to the test once again. It is in my nature to ‘tell the world’, but this is too close. Too sacred. One day. One day God might call me to give voice to this issue but that time is not today.
The gift I’ve received in the past few weeks is witnessing what I’ve put out into the world come right back ten-fold. Even as I continue to meet with new survivors every day I am hearing from those who’ve been a part of my life in the past, their light shining brightly of dignity, worth, empowerment and respect. As darkness has threatened to seep into the crevices of my world, Christ’s light has pierced every nook and crevice through those who’ve learned to receive (and believe) Him.
Every person is apt to take a step back or two, regardless of what you’ve survived. What is important is to recognize where you’ve once been and remember why you moved forward. Self-pity and loathing get you no-where. It is imperative to be open to receive His light from the unexpected. If you delve too far ‘back’ into the pain you will not only close yourself off from the gift others are giving you in love but denying them the joy and light they will receive in serving.
I pray you all basked in the light of the Lord this Christmas and allow yourselves to be showered with love and grace.