You ever had a moment where it felt like a thousand flaming arrows were coming from every direction and narrowly missing you by inches? The arrows of course being comments, mishaps and arguments lit ablaze with personal opinion.
One of my weaknesses has always been aiming to please at all cost. As a young girl my world was not right if there was discord among my parents or parents and siblings or with me and my siblings. Later this need to keep my environment copacetic branched into my friendships and on into the work force after college.
This kept my voice low, unheard in most cases. If I were wrong in a situation or fight it didn’t take me long to acknowledge it and make it right. When the blame was misled and still pointed in my direction I still couldn’t handle the discord and relented to the fault regardless of my innocence just to bring peace.
It has taken many years to try to overcome this fault in a way that allows me to continue to own up to my wrongs and at the same time be confident in standing up to what I believe is my right to my opinion or how I choose to prayerfully handle a situation.
This summer I spoke a lot about ‘retraining the mind’ and this is what I’ve had to do. But it is not easy. What might be simple to one person is like lifting a 300lb boulder to the next.
Even when a comment isn’t fired directly at me but in my vicinity I take it personally and before I can catch it my mind is running in a thousand directions of how to counteract the shot. When in reality I need to trust in the armor God’s given me.
The positive truth I have in these moments I feel ‘under attack’ is the knowledge that I must be doing something right. We are under greatest attack from the enemy when we are threatening his territory.