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Christian sex. Makes you do a double take.  Of course we are more ‘discreet’ with our terminology and we don’t want to offend anyone by using such a ‘strong’ term’. Let’s face it though, we are human. We promote marriage. And marriage remains strong with a vital sex life. And what I’ve learned is sex sells. Apparently even in the Christian market.Why wouldn’t it? Sex is extraordinary because it’s a gift from God when it’s unwrapped the way in which God intended.

song of solomon 2It is not negative to counteract the worldly persona of sex with the truth of the gift God intended it to be. And what is the gift God intended? Sometimes it’s hard to decipher when all you’ve known since childhood is sex is a means to pleasure for another rather than an intimacy of two coming together.

I bring this up because I had what I consider a ‘just show up’ moment when I got to meet with fellow Choose-Now Ministry leaders Steve Repak and Angela Breidenbach. I was admitting to my frustration in my ignorance of social media and building a ‘platform’ when we decided to look at what I’m ‘discussing’. Steve suggested I be more ‘bold’ in my statements about RAPE, ABUSE, and INCEST.

Highlighting or putting in ‘bold’ these words makes me cringe. Maybe because I’m a survivor and in many ways still saying the term or word can be a ‘trigger’. But how can a ‘normal’ person know this?

As you all know I’ve been contemplating a change or growth with my blog and maybe that change is to be more bold. I had one survivor tell me she wanted to know how I survived on a daily basis. I empathize and understand what she needs/wants to hear.

She really wants me to answer: How can I be ‘normal’?

It is a daily struggle if we are survivors of sexual abuse or incest.  But I also believe  whether you come from a strong Christian background or secular belief, our sexuality is the foundation of how we introduce ourselves to the world on a daily basis.

Are we confident, shy, pure, prudent, introverted,  extroverted, needy, pushy, aggressive, etc? And why are we these particular traits.

song of solomonWe are born with some of these traits but most are learned by existential circumstances. And sometimes we don’t even realize the circumstances that cause our reactions or responses  in relationships until decades into living life under the ‘terms’ of what the ‘world’ has generated as a generic blueprint of sexuality – one we must fall into – whether secular or Christian based – and hence fit into ‘normal’.

I actually have a lot to say about this and I will definitely explore more about ‘how’ I fit into ‘normal’ when it comes to living out my life as a woman of God, as a wife intimately and sexually, and a mother while struggling to overcome the triggers that suck the life out of living ‘normal’.

I pray I make sense in this post! ;) What are your thoughts? Is there a ‘norm’ when it comes to our sexuality? Is it easily defined by gender or religious affiliation? What are the areas you struggle in feeling as if you aren’t ‘normal’?

With your help I’ll tackle these issues in the weeks to come.



As you might know I’m at the International Christian Retail Show (ICRS) in Atlanta, GA. I’m having a great time and wanted to share a few moments:

Myself with Steve Repak and Angela Breidenbach from Choose Now Ministries

Love my friend Sheryl Giesbrecht had a great interview with her



Had another great interview with Michelle Thompson from Table for 1 Ministries

When I thought I was done for the evening I had a surprise visit from Michael, a young man whom I mentored back in the 'day' when I was a youth minister. PROUD of him!!!!

Ran into Torry Martin on the way out... awesome