Before I left for retreat last Thursday I received some amazing news that I hope to reveal by the end of this week. Nothing has been made official yet which is why I can’t share. I wanted to be excited and rejoice in the possible implications of what this news could mean but it was also tainted with a reality check. The reality is God is calling me to give His message in a certain way to a certain group of people which causes me to not fit in Box A nor do I fit in Box B.
In a world where we are told to either fit in Box A or Box B it is difficult to succeed when you are in a category all your own. Instead of taking this as defeat I put it in prayer for God to handle and went to the retreat. The blessing of leading a retreat is being first hand observer to the intricate details of the Holy Spirit.
There was a peace that flowed throughout the retreat center and from within me. I felt no worry, no stress, no rush. It would flow as it should and it did.
When the retreatants arrived they were apprehensive, unaware, and coiled within their cocoon. Some admitted to being ‘angry’ when they arrived. By the second day the spirit flowed and you could see ‘movement’ within their tight shells. By the third the rain stopped (literally) and the air was lighter with their transformation.
These women knew God loved them. They felt they were each specifically called to the retreat and God wanted to know them personally. They felt special. Loved. Worthy.
My heart soared to see the light in their eyes and joy in their smiles. No longer were they captured in a cocoon of doubt, fear, guilt, and shame. Now they were released to the world free to spread their uniquely fashioned wings to spread God’s beauty to their family and friends.
I wish I could explain more, give details of the way in which GOD SHOWED UP in every second of every day of the retreat. But I can’t. I used to be puzzled when I would read a bible passage of Jesus curing the sick and then telling them ‘not to speak of it’ and the person would run off telling the world. The world wouldn’t understand the actual act performed but they will pick up on the awe and wonder that remains. Same for the retreatants. If they were to tell you what they experienced to you it would be as simple as ‘we heard this or we read this or we did this’ because you were not there to experience the mystery and power behind the action. However you can experience the power they exude through their transformation.
Just like with the butterfly we can not appreciate what is happening to a caterpillar that is confined within its rough cocoon but we can be transfixed the beauty and peace of a butterfly.
If you have never been on a retreat before I implore you to find a retreat in your area to take the time out for yourself and allow God to transform you from the inside out.