“I’m 51 and I’m starting over from the bottom up,” she said to me with pain in her eyes. This woman’s story is hard to hear. She had teenage twins and lost them both … in separate incidences. Lost her marriage after the first twin died in a tragic accident…then her and her husband fell in love again and remarried. She got pregnant with their third child and during that pregnancy the other twin was murdered. She lost the pregnancy. Eventually she lost the marriage… again.
Ten minutes before the program was to begin I sat with this woman and listened to her give voice to her story. “Just so you know before they come in, no one knows this about me. I told them some but I’m very vague.”
I was stunned because she began talking to me right away. “Why wouldn’t you let the others know? They have all suffered too. They will understand,” I said.
“I don’t know what they are thinking so it makes me not trust them,” she said.
“But you trusted me,” I pointed out.
“Because you have a good aura,” she said matter of fact.
Incidentally (or not so ‘incidentally’ as we find that God shows up in every moment but we need to train our eyes to see), one of the women in the group felt comfortable to tell her story and though it wasn’t the same in detail, it was similar in the effect of loss of everything – child, home, marriage, and security.
In this group I get to lead at a women’s shelter I rejoiced as I felt God awaken them to the understanding that they are not alone. And, it’s not ONLY THEM. If anything this validated the sentiment for survivors of all kinds (not just abuse but also tragedy) to speak out and talk about what you’ve been through because the exposing of your truth will bring it into the light, heal your soul and help another to not feel so ‘alone’.
There were a few that didn’t want to speak out in this particular session and I pointed out that they all had one thing for certain in common: They were all brought to this place of ‘starting over from bottom’ and who better to encourage one another than those who know exactly what you are going through?
You are not alone nor are you the only one suffering. Sometimes it seems easier to hold on tight to our sufferings because we feel it’s too complicated, or no one will understand, or we don’t want to feel the pain of having to talk about it. But when we hold tight to such a burden that burden gets heavier and heavier and eventually it will exhaust all of your energy and effort until you have nothing within you to hold onto it and it will fall and scatter in ways that are even more out of your ‘control’. Sometimes when it falls it crushes and harms others around you.
Let it go. Gently, in your time, with your voice and watch it unravel effortlessly in the light, giving you freedom and helping others in the process.
If you have a story that you would like to share, let me hear from you. And we can begin to help others together.