A beautiful ( I mean gorgeous ) woman sat before me today and told me her story. Every person that sits before me and tells their story is gorgeous and radiant in my eyes because they are finding their voice and having the courage to speak their truth (even as ugly as it might be). It is not easy. There is no doubt. No matter what details make up the story, the abuses, the addictions, or the bad decisions we’ve made, the perceived failure, etc, we hesitate to put it out there for fear of judgement.
I think this is why my favorite story from the New Testament is the woman caught in adultery:
A Woman Caught in Adultery
Then each went to his own house, while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle.
They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger.
But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them,“Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him.
Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
She replied, “No one, sir.”
Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more.” John 8:1-11
When I had my ‘reversion’ moment, now over 12 years ago, I remember vividly what kept me from fully accepting I had anything worth offering to any one else was the fear of being judged by what had been done to me and what I had done to myself. I realized in order for me to heal properly I had to make a vow to do my best and hold back judgement in order to keep judgement from myself. I won’t sit here and say I’m perfect. (Because I’m sure I’ll have a HUNDRED comments (finally) letting you all know how I might have judged others.) However, I will say I’ve done my best to try, which believe is what has ultimately led me to do what I do today.
And it is exactly why I am so forthright in everything I blog and write about because I don’t want anyone to come back and say “But you don’t know this about her!” Because you can all say “Um, yes we do! and we love her anyway!” ….right?
After meeting with me this beloved daughter of God text me and said, “It was great to hear your story and understand for the first time (in a long time), that I am not alone.” AMEN SISTER!
What a blessing! Another blessing I received today is the next I HAVE A VOICE video. It is just about ready to be released … and it is my story of dealing with healing from memories of incest and forgiveness. Before it is ready to be released I thought I’d take the next five days to REVISIT 5 Just Show Up blogs that show the journey I’ve been on this past year. Within the next five days you will revisit me uncovering the memories, learning to deal with the revelation, and the healing journey of forgiveness and closure. Then I will reveal the I HAVE A VOICE video next week.
Do you ever feel as if a multitude of stones would be thrown at you if your true self were revealed? Do you hide behind finding fault with others so that you point out their flaws before anyone sees yours? If so, maybe test the waters and try telling someone whom you trust and love something that you know keeps you from being your true authentic self. I think you’ll find compassion over animosity more times than not.